Natural Science

Posted: July 14, 2011 in Uncategorized

All I have to say, is that if this is the kind of preparation being done, you are all doomed.
Well, of course I recognize that EVERYBODY is doomed, because entropy and all, but I mean MORE doomed.  Prematurely doomed.  It may be noted that even in this drill, everybody died.

Sheesh.  I am more concerned about mikey’s preparedness, and he has A SQUIRREL AS AN ADVISOR!  Of course, mikey and I will be doing an explosions-and-flames remodeling effort in Milwaukee, so we are partners these days. However, considering the way I’ve been treated by my ACTUAL partners, I expect mikey to shoot-or-stab me in the back at the first opportunity, so I WILL be taking precautions.  If yours is the head I cut off and duct tape to the back of mine, I EXPECT you to warn me when mikey is sneaking up.
I apologize that this post is not about current events, like the last couple.  Not that the Zombocalypse is not a current, or near-current, event; but perhaps I reveal too much.

Also, “ask a policeman if you can taze someone.”  I am so doing that.  The Bloggess gets bonus points for using “My Vagina Is Eight Miles Wide” as a theme song.  We will probably eat her branes last.  If she moves to Cleveland.  Why yes, I would like a little more of the office rum, please.

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Comments
  1. Snag says:

    Office rum? Lucky bastard.

  2. Luckier than Kathleen, certainly.

  3. vacuumslayer says:

    This thread needs more porn.

  4. Porn or rum…. Horns of a Dilemma, indeed.

  5. Plus, VS, her song clearly referenced a vagina. Plus, knock-knock motherfucker, while not porny, is at least bad language and triggering to mikey and Dusty.

    So far, offending at least four of my readers! MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.

  6. So hey ho and a hearty FUCK YOU WORDPRESS you fish-witted bung-pilot because I cannot figure out how to change that stupid fucking poll.

  7. vacuumslayer says:

    Porn or rum….

    The Sophie’s Choice of vices.

  8. mikey says:

    Hang on.

    I’m drinking rum and watching porn.

    Holy shit! Look at those!

    I gotta get a refill…

  9. vacuumslayer says:

    I’m drinking Ta kill ya and not watching porn. Still…nice. 🙂

  10. good to see thunderman show up, and playing a Madison punk band to boot. Well played, sir; well played indeed.

  11. I was drinking Office Rum earlier, and am now drinking cheap white wine. If this gets out of hand, I will start in on the tequila. Well, Hornitos to be exact, which is not EXACTLY the same as tequila, as I understand it.

    Still burns and gets you RIGHTEOUSLY fucked up, so what’s the fucking difference, says the zombies?

  12. mikey says:

    Man, that sucks on both functional levels.

    Billy Jack was a badass.

    But here’s where we’re doomed. Billy stood down. Billy didn’t fight to the death, or blow up the whole fucking town.

    Show me where what we’ve got today encourages that kind of discipline or courage.

    Nope. Today, we all love our bomb throwers and our martyrs, and when it finally escapes the bonds of anger we’ve got nothing but a society that has forgotten how to compromise and finds itself awash in weapons and victimization. There is no good outcome here…

  13. Show me where what we’ve got today encourages that kind of discipline or courage.

    Zombie architects with a black belt and no future.

    Now HAND ME THE FUCKING TEQUILA.

  14. Also, I am instituting the idea of “Office Tequila”

    I am a fucking PIONEER, y’all.

  15. vacuumslayer says:

    I have already stopped drinking tA kill ya and am readying for bed. Dudeskull slept for maybe 2 1/2 hours since around 3 this morning. I’m a zombie. An honorary zombie. Any typing I do will be from the bed in the nursery. No, not the crib. That’s not a comfortable sleep.

  16. I have already stopped drinking tA kill ya

    That’s because you are not in an OFFICE and the inadequacies of your dwelling are, I am afraid, not the concern of THIS BLOG.

    we will, of course, be drunk-blogging the rest of the night.
    We have been challenged on FB with a music game, part of which requires coming up with a song I HATE from a band; while that was no problem for Genesis, indeed, I could do that with the Mekons, I have been tasked with Rush and consequently been listening all afternoon in vain. Truly, I cannot find one I hate.

  17. RUSH= ZOMBIE APPROVED BAND.

  18. vacuumslayer says:

    Yeah…I’m not really a Facebook person. And hate’s a strong word. Id be hard-pressed to name songs I HATE…even from bands I’m not that fond of…like Rush.

  19. bands I’m not that fond of…like Rush.

    HOLY SHIT, BREEDER, ARE YOU LOOKING TO BE BANNED?

  20. Cuz I feel the banhammer, wanting to be hammered….O yes.

  21. vacuumslayer says:

    I was just gOnna say…

    What can I do get back in your good graces? Fresh branes?

  22. vacuumslayer says:

    Zombie is typing one-handed while he is pouring heroic portions of tequila.

  23. mikey says:

    That’s a pretty good song. And the whole uparmored bulldozer thing is attractive, is it not? I don’t, at least at this point, want to die in nihilistic clash with the powers that be. But there’s lessons on top of lessons contained in here.

    First, people can build gear that can compete with the military/industrial complex. You fight where you live, and you tend to know that terrain. A few sheets of one inch steel, an arc welder and you can fight them. This is important to remember if it comes to a fight.

    Also, it’s a brief news piece, but big bullets matter. They have 5.56, 9mm, little crap that doesn’t work. If you want to fight them, it’s about BIG bullets with lots of energy. They cannot stand, and have to pull back.

    I know. Just keep it in the back of your mind. As soon as it really matters, you’ll be ahead of the survival curve knowing this…

  24. Way it looks to me, the “powers that be” will be not paying the ” military that be” and at that point, a fair number of them will decide that it ain’t worth the fucking bother, and hit the hills with whatever ordnance they can carry.

    So my plan to hang out in my basement, with a fair amount of alcohol and a small caliber weapon trained on the only entrance, until things quiet down topside; is that a bad strategy? regardless of the brains I intend to ZOM NOM NOM on?

  25. They have 5.56, 9mm, little crap that doesn’t work.

    my understanding is that small calibers are nasty, if they are tumbling. That depends on the weapon, am I right?

  26. the whole uparmored bulldozer thing is attractive, is it not?

    It would actually be a good time to know somebody with SOME FAMILIARITY with local construction teams and construction sites that might have such available…huh. One wonders who you might know with that kind of information?

  27. mikey says:

    Ok, once more, very brief lesson. there are three kinds of bullets.

    1. Battle rifle. This has always been the tradition, and for good reason. Every war won by infantry up until Vietnam was won by infantry shooting BIG ASS rounds. .308. 7.65×51 NATO. Shit that can, and will kill you anywhere they can see you.

    2. Pistol rounds. 9mm, .45. Submachine guns. Sub caliber weapons that made a lot of noise and scared a lot of people. Won’t penetrate buildings or vehicles. A lot of firepower for people on people conflicts, but quickly shows it’s limitations in a real fight.

    3. Intermediate rounds. This has evolved to just 2. 5.56 NATO (US) and 7.65×39 (them). 300 meter range, no real penetration, upside is infantryman can carry hundreds of rounds and some kid from Minneapolis can shoot it full auto.

    Intermediate rounds were a success because it seemed that fighting would be against other people (150 pound mammals) at hundred meter ranges. Get out of those parameters and, oh snap, you need big bullets again. This is a long, big, ongoing argument that doesn’t fit here, but there you have the basic shape of the fight…

  28. (150 pound mammals)

    whew. Glad I am not part of that

  29. Hah. Vs, WordPress may be a syphilitic whore, but it allows you to selectively edit comments.

    HAH. I AM DRUNK WITH PWOER.

    …and tequila, it is true.

  30. vacuumslayer says:

    First, you edit posts. Then you EDIT THE WORLD. I’m onto you.

  31. M. Bouffant says:

    I’m getting ready to go to sleep now.

  32. herr doktor bimler says:

    Vis-a-vis firearms, I have a policy against firing anything that will knock me arse-over-kite, and since I appear to be constructed from bird bones and duct tape, this rules out a lot of mikey’s favouite ordinance.

Go ahead, tell me how I fucked up this time.

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