Tonight, tonight tonight

Posted: November 1, 2011 in Uncategorized

OK, look.  I said my bit.   Got it out like an lancing a boil, and WordPress is cheaper than therapy, even if she is a syphilitic whore.

So nobody wants to let it go, either; now it’s your turn.  Have at it in the comments.  I won’t be referreeing, I have things to do. Drawings to print.  Deadlines to fuster.  People to eat.  It’s what Atrios calls “open thread”; do what you do, get in fights, juggle cats whatever.  The lube’s over there ———->

So, since I have now pissed off VS, lectured N__B, Maligned Bouffant, aggravated mikey, and froze fish, who is left?  Dusty, but I will get drunk and call her blogradio show, so that’ll be OK.  Jennifer!  O, who am I kidding, I am sure I have managed to irritate her somehow in the last few days.  I probably posted a Rush video…
VON!  I haven’t alienated Von yet this week!  So let’s just post a video:

Too big to fly, Dodo ugly so Dodo must die
Doggo with fear on its side, can’t change, can’t change the tide
Dog baiter, agitator, asking questions, says he wants to know why
Ain’t no reason that money can’t buy
Mink he pretty so Mink he must die, must die, must die

Sun he giving life in his light, part of the system
Friend to man, friend to the trees, no friend to the snowman
Where does he go, what does he do?
Does he meet with the mole, the stream, the cloud
And end up at the bottom of the sea?

Fish he got a hook in his throat, fish he got problems
Where does he go, what does he do?
Does he hope he’s too small, to poor a haul
Who’ll end up being thrown back in the sea?
I’m back in the sea

Caretaker, horror movie
Only one eye, only needs one boot
Sweet lady, she knows she looks good
Vacuum coming for the bright and the brute

Big noise, black smoke
So pig-headed couldn’t see the joke
But it ain’t funny, ask the fly on the wall
It’s only living it don’t matter at all, at all, at all

Pimp, he make you drool and grunt, he got an answer
One he got a dream of love, deep as the ocean
Where does he go, what does he do?
Will the siren team with Davy Jones
And trap him at the bottom of the sea?
I’m back in the sea, I’m back in the sea, I’m back in the sea

Meanwhile lurking by a floating stone head
Two eyes looked to see what I was
And then something spoke
And this is what it said to me

Clothes of brass and hair of brown
Seldom needs to breathe
Don’t need no wings to fly
Ohh a heart of stone
And a fear of fire and water
Who am I?

Carry on.

Bonus video for maximum uncomfortableness:

  1. vacuumslayer says:

    Pissed? Who’s pissed? I can take a joke. Besides “mommy blog” is a great meme to play with.

    That being said, I probably will do horrible horrible weird things to this thread. Words will be misspelled. Left out even. I may talk about vibrators. YOU CANT CONTROL ME!

  2. Laura says:

    Blogging ain’t easy… 🙂

    Now… what’s this about vibrators???


  3. I seem to have missed teh blogdrama. I’m fine with that, just so long as I don’t miss teh vibrators.

  4. vacuumslayer says:

    I missed out on it too, for which I am thankful. That kinda thing makes me incredibly uncomfortable.

  5. Uncomfortable? Really? Maybe you should try different vibrators. Or perhaps it’s your technique, upload some webcam video and we’ll offer suggestions.

  6. fish says:

    Is this where we make fun of Aaron Rogers? Or was it Alex Smith? Cuz you know.

  7. Another Kiwi says:

    P’shaw to Hello KittySexy Robin is where it’s at Er, wasn’t Robin a boy? And doesn’t that, make this a tad awkward?

  8. herr doktor bimler says:

    who is left?

    No mention of Antipodeans?! FEELINGS HURT NOW.

  9. vacuumslayer says:

    Uncomfortable? Really? Maybe you should try different vibrators.

    No need for anything so fancy. As I divulged on Subby’s blog, I just use the body brush on my Clarisonic.

  10. mikey says:

    As some of you are well aware, I used to run a quaint little vibrator repair shop in Sacramento. So if you begin to have mechanical problems (the number one complaint is excessive noise) or just want to send old reliable off for a complete cleaning and tune-up, well, I don’t have the storefront anymore but I will unabashedly tell you I have the expertise…

  11. Laura says:

    I missed the blog drama as well.
    Some of you might be surprised but one time… I had blog drama at my place! There was an old man that HATED my guts. It was all quite… dramatic.

    I wish my kiddies weren’t home so that I could click on those links. 🙂 Perhaps tomorrow.. while I’m alone.

    I bet Mikey makes house calls… 😛


  12. Jennifer says:

    I’ve had very little blog drama lately, which leads me to believe what I’ve been sensing for a year… I’m phoning it in. 🙂

  13. herr doktor bimler says:

    a quaint little vibrator repair shop in Sacramento

    More Mom, less Pop!

  14. vacuumslayer says:

    One of the advantages of having a blog only a handful of friends reads? Almost no drama.

    Of course there was that one night I got wasted and called everyone Hitler…

  15. Pinko Punko says:

    I have posted a new Delicious and Disgusting. I know this will cheer you up.

  16. herr doktor bimler says:

    that one night I got wasted and called everyone Hitler…

    You know WHO ELSE got called “Hitler’??

  17. that one night I got wasted

    Be more specific.


  18. Kathleen says:

    I was busy drinking corpse revivers and toasting you ZRM

  19. Only VS could turn this into a discussion of Vibrators.. I adore you woman. 😆

    Off-topic evidently, I would like to take this opportunity to thank Zombilicious for calling in today and going over the fuckfest that took place on his political post, which I read on the air. He explained his position and his intent wonderfully. Gracias’ dear man. 😉

  20. Gracias’ dear man.

    umm, yeah. I wasn’t as drunk as I expected to be, what with you starting an hour later.

    And I wasn’t NEARLY as looped as Prick Erry.

    And apparently I can’t leave my fucking comment threads alone like I said I would; but in my defense, i am waiting for a teleconference.

  21. I’ve been quiet, Shirley this is why no one noticed me.

  22. M. Bouffant says:

    Hey, I was just disgusted by your faith in human nature, indeed, by your belief that human nature is anything but horrid.

    I have lived & worked among them, you know, & it turned me into what I am today.

  23. M. Bouffant says:

    For example:

    Colorado voters have rejected an attempt to raise state income and sales taxes to fund education, The Denver Post has declared.

    Read more: Prop 103 falls: Denver Post declares tax-increase measure dead – The Denver Post

    No one is willing to fund any good you want to do.

  24. No one is willing to fund any good you want to do.

    Fuck you. I have 6+ million dollars to do my current project.

  25. mikey says:

    I think at this point I’ll just keep my big yap shut.

  26. fish says:

    I do admit that things got a little hot over here, but did you really have to resort to Genesis for punishment? I mean, waterboarding sure, but Genesis?

  27. vacuumslayer says:

    You know WHO ELSE got called “Hitler’??

    America’s Sweetheart, Sally Field? No?

    Am I close?

  28. vacuumslayer says:

    Thanks, doll. I’ll be here all week. Tip your cows.

    • Tip your cows. They really do that shit in Okla-friggin-homa VS. My son told me, I was of course horrified as a city slicker who things its a mean thing to do to a fat cow that looks like my Ball n Chain when he tries to get up from being down on the floor looking for something. 😉

  29. vacuumslayer says:

    I was hoping that was just a myth– I think that’s awful!

    • I thought it was a myth too until the kid told me. He lives in the country..I mean waaaay out in the country in OK. The roads don’t even have friggin names, not to mention they can shoot some nosy stranger and bury them where they will never be found. It’s scary out there in Redneckistan!

  30. Von says:

    Pfft. I am neither annoyed nor alienated.
    I’m made of stronger stuff than that.
    Liked both videos, btw.

  31. No one is willing to fund any good you want to do.

    Someone is, they just don’t live in Colorado.

    Time for America to start producing immigrants instead of asking for them…

  32. What we need is some entrepreneurs willing to shake off the government and the moochers and build a railroad all by themselves.

  33. Another Kiwi says:

    Mr. thundra is absolutely right. The day of vibrator powered railways is here!!

  34. fish says:

    The day of vibrator powered railways is here!!

    New definition for superconductor.

  35. Wikipedia says cow tipping is hooey.

    A brief search on UtUbe bears this out; there are no videos of successful cow tippings, mainly just fakes and unsuccessful drunken attempts. You would think at this point, someone would have managed a video.

  36. Liked both videos, btw.

    Von +1.

  37. fish says:

    and unsuccessful drunken attempts

    That would be me.

  38. but did you really have to resort to Genesis for punishment?

    Thus fish earns Genesis video posting for the foreseeable future.

  39. Von says:

    Moar Genesis!
    Moar Rush!

  40. plover says:

    (Not particularly) long ago and (not all that) far, far away, fish said:


    Of course you are. I suspect it’s why I think there’s a point to giving you a hard time… 😉


    Moar Genesis (with Anthony Phillips even…)

    Also, ZRM needs to work harder at picking Genesis songs I like…

  41. herr doktor bimler says:

    Wikipedia says cow tipping is hooey.

    My experience from childhood on a dairy farm is that (1) the only thing that can sneak up on a cow is a ninja cow
    (2) cows do not sleep standing up
    (3) cows will poop in your gumboots if you give them a chance.

    New definition for superconductor.

  42. Also, it is an extremely bad idea for a cat to doze underneath a standing cow.

  43. mikey says:

    One time up in Marin I bought some really cheap 9mm. It was REALLY cheap. Kind of too-good-to-be-true shoulda known better cheap. So the first round went in my P38, but it wouldn’t come out. Wouldn’t eject, wouldn’t extract, wouldn’t do ANYTHING. Well. This is a pesky bit, isn’t it?

    As near as I could tell, the options came down to paying someone to take the whole thing apart and fix it or, hey, maybe I could just SHOOT it out, right? I mean, there’s some unidentifiable stuff wrong, but even so, if you could just shoot it, it would cycle and we’d be back where we started now, wouldn’t we? Seemed worth a go.

    Did I mention this is in Marin? Marin has two things – the top 0.01% and cows. It’s smelly old money in beautiful old homes and dairies. So I didn’t have to drive far to pull over to the side of the road and step through the fence. There I was, in the middle of a pasture, just me and 200 of my closest bovine friends. They initially seemed willing to go with the “let’s just everyone ignore you” kind of approach, and I liked that and assumed we had, not an informal cease-fire but a carefully negotiated truce. Let me advise you at this point, at the risk of spoiling the ending, to NEVER under any circumstances trust a cow to continue to leave you alone. Unreliable, they are.

    So I walked past some, if not most of the cows, deep into the pasture where no one could become angry with me for merely explosively fixing a pistol. I set down my burgundy backpack, dug out the presently recalcitrant P38, pointed it in the general direction of Beijing and pulled the trigger. The trusty little bit of german technology went BANG, cycled normally and locked open, just as it it was just another day in Kursk.

    Well, that was certainly good news. Except all cows were now interested, and instead of having the good sense to leave the area, they were all closing in like half ton zombies, desperate to nuzzle up against the source of that wonderful loud noise. What IS it with you stupid motherfuckers? I think mad cow prions are more widespread than we think. So I picked up the burgundy backpack and ran like hell for the fenceline, pursued by several hundred bovine admirers bent on who knows what mayhem. I hopped the wire fence with mere feet to spare, tossed the backpack in the car, hopped in and drove home.

    Only to discover that the backpack had been colonized by ticks and I had one the size of Zuccotti Park in my ribs. The cows had the final laugh that day….

  44. cows are COLOSSALLY stupid creatures. I had a friend in high school who used a short chunk of 2×4 to get their attention. Until it broke over one of their noggins. I have never felt regret about how tasty they are.

  45. herr doktor bimler says:

    Other observations:
    (4) Yearling bulls do not care that homosexuality is Against Nature and God.
    (5) You do not want to know about mastitis.

  46. Jennifer says:

    You do not want to know about mastitis.

    The cows don’t want to know about it either.

  47. Another Kiwi says:

    I was once on preggers cow watch for a veterinary colleague. I would go and watch a bunch of cows and when one calved i would hop over the fence , grab the calf and hotfoot it to the study place where they would feed it dairy cow formula etc. luckily no one delivered when I was watching.
    Once though, the milking cows went past the car in which I was sitting. That’s about 300 cows and about every single one goobed on the wing mirror until it looked like something from Ghostbusters, that had been slimed.
    I bet they all thought it was funny though: “Ha ha, goob on the sticky-out bit, ha ha!”
    This is a different project from when I had to note their lesbianism in a book to see if it tallied with the U.V. camera measuring their “bits” warmth. I guess someone should have turned on the U.V. camera for that one at some stage in the 3 weeks.

  48. Brando says:

    The day of vibrator powered railways is here>/i>

    That’s the premise for the story of “The Little Engine That Could Finally Achieve Orgasm.”

  49. Brando says:

    I hate when I leave my tags hanging out.

  50. BTW, I still adore you Zombilicious and you would have to do something really heinous like hurt one of my two dogs or two dozen cats we care for, to get me to hate you.

    I figured this post was old enough for me to write the above, plus..I am currently attempting to drink an entire bottle of chardonnay as the brakes on my vehicle just took a shit and I had to do that sad thing I wrote to you about last week which wasn’t cheap either but was horribly sad and emotionally painful.

  51. I am currently attempting to drink an entire bottle of chardonnay as the brakes on my vehicle just took a shit

    I hope you have a second bottle handy. One’s a good start.

    My brakes went hooey last winter, I spent about 800 bucks getting them redone. Good luck, I hope your ride needs less work. If not, aim at soft things at the end of your drives!

Go ahead, tell me how I fucked up this time.

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