In the Eye of The Herman Cain

Posted: November 5, 2011 in Uncategorized

Challenged:

I did my part with “Nein Nein Nein. Get to it, zrm.

So I respond with not one BUT TWO.  Take that, ya poncy Bastard!

 

Cued up first, Blue Oyster Cult has a word or two for a Certain Pizza:

(original here)

Sometimes I let it take me, pizza like a greased wheel
I know the cheese won’t break me, it’s all roiling in my gut

People think it’s not so bad, but once you call you’re boned
It’s easy to say don’t order, ain’t easy when you’re stoned

Once you order, you won’t finish, once it bakes, it’s gonna crash
You know this pie is shit, today’s pizza tomorrow’s trash

He never blinks, he never blinks, he doesn’t care what you think
Don’t look in the Eye of the Herman Cain
That’s the Eye of the Herman Cain
There’s a greasy grin that’s unnerving me
Don’t look in the Eye of The Herman Cain

Open the box, smell of dead leaves in fart-wind
Grab a piece, choke it down and never quite reach the end

Sometimes wash it down with beer, try the Reserve of  Steel
Sometimes wash it down with gin, helps erase the  feel

He never blinks, he never blinks, he doesn’t care what you think
Don’t look in the Eye of the Herman Cain
That’s the Eye of the Herman Cain
He doesn’t care that it’s hurting me
Don’t look in the Eye of The Herman Cain

Sometimes I eat it while I cry, why do I do this to me?
Sometimes I eat this fatal pie blindfolded, better to not see

He never blinks, he never blinks, he doesn’t care what you think
Don’t look in the Eye of the Herman Cain
That’s the Eye of the Herman Cain
There’s something awful dying in the center of me
Don’t look in the Eye of the Herman Cain
It’s the Eye of the Herman Cain

And bringing it home is the Alarm:
(Original here)
Phone calls from the Executive suite
A lone voice cries in the breakroom
He’s CEO, you can’t say no
or walk away in the fateful moonlight

Love forsaken man, strange move with his hand
For God’s sake don’t tell him no
Into the motel room
Under guise of a cross
He lurks and gropes again and again
All his life

Oh Eye of the Herman Cain
Falls on you, there’s no relief from the pain
From the eye of the Herman Cain
Face to face

The legal team interviews, workers confirm
It was easy to see, no bother to conceal
She can’t cry no more her eyes are bone dry sore
Pizza Man has moved on to the next score

Cash settlement makes it go away
A second steps forward
Into the harassment fight
Out comes the checkbook
Paying the women again and again
All his life

Oh eye of the Herman Cain
Payoff lets him walk out into the rain
You see the Eye of the Herman Cain
on another pretty face

Herman Cain when will we see you again?
Herman Cain when will you grope again?
Will we see you again?
Will you pay her again?

A third  desolate soul in a desolate room
legally enjoined to silence
Can’t come forward, no right
Another payoff loss
Cain is free to chase another
All his life

Oh eye of the Herman Cain
sweeps over the women under his reign
Won’t meet the eye of Herman Cain
Got a wife

Oh eye of the Herman Cain
Money gives no right, no right to complain
about the eye of the Herman Cain
A disgrace

Herman Cain
Herman Cain
And now for something completely different. Some new Tom Waits:
Nice to see the meds are still not balanced.
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Comments
  1. Brando says:

    Herman’s favorite pizza? Extra-large hand-tossed pepperoni.

  2. You’ve been looking for JUST the right place to drop that one for over a week now, haven’t you Brando?

  3. I’m going to leave this on the counter over here.
    ~

  4. vacuumslayer says:

    Ha! I don’t know this song, thus cannot get it stuck in my head. HA HA HA!!! YOUR EVIL IS WASTED ON ME!

  5. That was hurtful, vs. i wasn’t trying to be evil this time.

  6. vacuumslayer says:

    I mean evil in the sense of some butthole name “thudner” getting the song “Rock You LIke a Hurricane” stuck in my head for a whole freakin’ day. I mean, I don’t know these songs. MAYBE I LOVE THEM. Hence, evil: wasted.

  7. Nah, you’ll hate them. Especially the Tom waits.

  8. Bastard just challenged me to do the lyrics to the Alarm song for Herman Cain, so I did the BOC song as a bonus, cuz I’m a GIVER, DAMMIT!

  9. vacuumslayer says:

    When I get some time, I’ll find the songs. I’d like to hear them.

  10. Well, I’ll say this; none of ’em sounds like The Field Mice.

    In fact, if you do it thudner-stylee and play them all at once, it will be quite a cacophony. I approve of cacophony.

  11. Also, it’s less about the songs and more about the hurricane/Herman Cain reference…..

  12. I do like the Tom Waits, by the way.
    ~

  13. I have been a huge fan of his since Bone Machine.

  14. All these years of singing and still no one has offered poor Tom Waits a throat lozenge.

    Expecting a cough drop, Tom waits.

  15. Whale Chowder says:

    Tom Waits for appreciation from LEAFS SUCK but all he gets is smart remarks.

  16. […] In the Eye of The Herman Cain (empireofthesenseless.wordpress.com) […]

  17. Brando says:

    You’ve been looking for JUST the right place to drop that one for over a week now, haven’t you Brando?

    No, that one suddenly appeared in front of me and I just had to grab it.

  18. that one suddenly appeared in front of me and I just had to grab it.

    Oooooo!
    ~

  19. No, that one suddenly appeared in front of me and I just had to grab it.

    Stop it.

  20. Big Bad Bald Bastard says:

    So I respond with not one BUT TWO. Take that, ya poncy Bastard!

    I expect 9 parodies!

    Did you hear the NPR interview of Tom Waits? He’s awesome.

  21. Herman Cain parody song are like so October 2011. The new Tom Waits song is great isn’t it.

  22. yeah, and if I start writing additional verses to keep up with the new women coming forward, teh song will end up like The Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald.

  23. Tom Waites?

    I’m gonna fix that for you, cuz I KNOW you know better….

Go ahead, tell me how I fucked up this time.

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