Running On A Treadmill

Posted: February 19, 2012 in Fridge Note

Pooter needs a name.  if anybody still reads this crappy blog, any suggestions?

…OK, any SERIOUS suggestions?

  1. mikey says:

    Yeah. If you were less of a dick with comments more people would hang out here.

    That’s MY suggestion….

  2. Zombie’s gotta be what a zombie’s gotta be, man.

    “Dick”. We’ll take it under advisement….

  3. M. Bouffant says:

    Uh, what zackley does it do? Shoot the ball? (In which case, “Shooter.”) Apply so much pressure the ball explodes?

  4. Another Kiwi says:

    “Dwayne Hoover”, In honour of Kurt Vonnegut.
    A confused Dwayne demands a message from Kilgore, who hands over a copy of his novel. Dwayne reads the novel, which purports to be a message from the Creator of the Universe explaining that the reader – in this case Dwayne – is the only individual in the universe with free will. Everyone else is a robot

  5. herr doktor bimler says:

    ‘Pooter’ is a perfectly good name already.

  6. herr doktor bimler says:

    Also too on the previous thread you claim that a basket-ball “is roughly the shape and compressibility of a human head…”
    I am not sure about this assertion but have no wish to come across as even creepier than usual by claiming to be an authority on their relative compressibility. More research is needed.

  7. creepy-pedant bait is easy.

    Well, OBVIOUSLY, hdb. I SAID “approximately”. Also, these B-balls are not standard, but slightly downsized. Note the melon of Karla, there, and its comparison to the ball-in-the-hopper. But if you look closely, the feeder belts may be seen to be elastic, allowing for a pretty good range of shapes and sizes, even upside-down. The Pooter-shooter is a bit more rigid, but we are willing to accept a bit of damage at that point, just before the thing is lobbed back over the wall.

    Sheesh. You must believe me to be a complete moran.

    Right now, we only have problems on the intake with the noggins of chirren less than, say 6 years old. But then, they won’t pose much of a threat during Robo-zompocalypse, so my feeling is that they may be dealt with during mopping-up. Some Zombies disagree; we are not homogeneous, you know, or maybe you don’t.

    Of course, we also cannot cope with monstrous melons like Newt Gingrich’s, but I am actually looking forward to doing that one manually.

    The major issue to be worked around at this point is waterproofing components so that we can hose the entire contraption down after a particularly messy episode. Also, for purposes of maneuverability, the optimum weight is planned at 120 pounds, and the drive train pushes this one up over 135 right now.

    The more Alert among you, possibly the Thunderpooch, may notice that the bot incorporates certain features of the Wingnut Processor, first conceptualized at Sadly, No, back when they were a cool place. Much brainstorming was performed during those times, and this may be considered the requisite hat-tip. I am aware of all Internet Traditions.

    Admittedly, the whole post is kind of Substance-bait, since I don’t have time to fuck around with JanusNode; have Robot-finishout to do. In fact, I am a bit alarmed that he hasn’t chimed in yet; I do hope he hasn’t been prematurely processed by a rogue Zombie-Robot splinter cell (The Canadian Contingent has been particularly rambunctious in recent weeks).

  8. You’ve got to get with the latest media fad – Lin. Mecha-Lin, Robo-Lin…

  9. janus says:


  10. Sheesh. You must believe me to be a complete moran.

    Zombies have always been maligned in our “Their coming to get you, Barbara!” society.

  11. Substance-bait

    I’m hooked!

  12. Fuck. After working all night cutting out extraneous metal and over-engineered frippery, Pooter is down to a fighting weight of 117, I am exhausted, grease permanently staining my hands and shirt, and now to get down to paying work.


  13. Fam Opnaypkabe
    Nicljaytjih Norristown the Gentle Businessman
    Counselors Miklsenul
    Thuhool Pleexkozuw the Entrepreneur
    Ronicro Dyduyrywat the Natural Hamster
    Domicile Ig the Purple Living Prismatic Spray
    Opposing As
    Selection Hyman the Entertainer
    Kludveronique Snipe the Speckled Trout
    Joaquinduy Fav the Punishing Watchspider
    Vanes-Wart the Scary Pomfret
    VooJoaquin Glqueg Miquiy the Sawshark
    Valqy Florence the Archaeologist
    Og Interlinked the Mutant Ape
    Physique Douqu the Executive
    Singoj Bashi the Zesty Holy One
    Don Witching the Patriarchal Exiled Dwarf
    Propagates Shur
    Reverend Great Grandpa Kipkoure the Berserk Vassal
    Carmine Procrastinates the Divine Minion
    Emmett Reduced the Icy Alpaca
    Dr. Terence the Perverse Thought Slayer
    Actualmf Gu the Nanny
    Ibexev Va the Baker
    Darren Tigtig
    Gaygay Annamaria
    Looseness Alethea the Happy Bassoonist
    Foowple Laying-Regretfully the Pagan Lurking Strangler
    Piggejcluve the Crystal Fish
    Neprroo Vacationers-Welles
    Genuineness Ciprpensoyg the Hobgoblin-Griffon
    Vouvhoypshoodsharo the Wolffish
    Fypicket Skins the Hare
    Remainder Oxxok the Unrealistic Burbot
    Ulma Alaine
    Mouxe Sommer
    Installing the Exotic Aviator
    Thiyuri Governing
    Ignaciopli Flbe the Yellow Medic
    Gregoriaeq Corpulent-Bunyan
    Thu Klara the Agile First Mate
    Nubque Chi the Organic Artist
    Woyrxy Initfee the Tiger
    Chuncloyw Lubbock the Homestyle Northern Lampfish
    Coffees the Coroner
    Tyreeti Wakib the Registrar
    Cousin Seehvanity Queezous the Project Manager
    Wihpluceva Chins
    Poyplopyllplo Appointees-Depreciated
    Sergeiuo Altruist the Embryonic Stunt Double
    Lance Corporal Rita-Mozelle Thoodhitui the Freedom-Loving Ermine
    Arlette the Conspicuous Nursemaid
    Thaddeus-Jannie Kleeszeezcri
    Vice Admiral Jihyixpreebo the Blessed Planar Changeling
    Uafallout Onita
    Tastefully Croutia the Greatswan
    Sundaybicre Xoypl the Cop
    Zella-Monica Piddle-Hurt the Upholsterer
    Zana-Buster Raymundo
    Flyaycro the California Red-Legged Frog
    Moujaytat Hool
    FaToronto Goliath-Cabdriver
    Chouyjaqueline Treatises-Standpoints
    Verline-Willian Trsithzoyshgo the Pigheaded Snubnose Eel
    Bwnelida Ltpuprozu
    Conditioning the Freedom-Loving Internist
    Remarks Revisionary
    Armload Minna the Nuclear Engineer
    Autism-Expended the Slender Real-Estate Developer
    Bullieseu Scarves-Kneeling the Fat Hanged Man
    Swinspirer Adkrplooc the Absurd Physiologist
    Yoozcrystle Repeatable the Underboss
    Pibemargy Giovanna the Fudgy Veterinarian
    Mirellatr Laboueq the Roasted Fawn
    Infinitelyzoys Tambra the Forehead Brooder
    Jurisdictionnk Nooke the White Crow
    Bowstringsvoo Berry-Rapidity the Bleeding Blood Ape
    Suppers-Colts the Noble Administrator Genie
    Rossie-Quentin Crismitdr the Stunjelly
    Hoes Unprofitable the Living Holocaust
    Ur Nery the Structural Engineers
    Jomlaurie Northeaster-Levers the Wahoo
    Depreciation Migrations-Apostolic the Primary Dietician
    Defines Deployed the Numismatist
    Pla Ernestina the Biased Pseudospectre
    Rubi Napkins
    Koolseepyomiu the Undead Spirit
    Lucas the Narwhal
    Tia Unequal the Contemporary Light War Horse
    Lieutenant Commander Kassie the Thornfish
    Leila Faymzoyluh
    Glues Prothpreeve the Radiologist
    Ciprvufgitque Suzuki the Coroner
    Josphine Tangent-Labels the Film Director

  14. herr doktor bimler says:

    Some Zombies disagree; we are not homogeneous, you know, or maybe you don’t.

    Easily homogenised, however. Lawnmowers.

  15. Hostile. But then, I’ve come to expect it, haven’t I.

    Bimler First into the hopper.

  16. Nick says:

    It’s all about marketing and branding. Hit the iron well it’s hot and whatnot to generate teh buzz and ensure corporate sponsorship so that you too can someday buy your own presidential candidate (or at least a governor or two). So, I suggest the following (all of which are “Trending Now” on Yahoo and therefore must be hot, hot, hot with teh younguns):
    Jessica Biel
    Disney Pepper Spray
    Yelp Stock

    or, possibly some combination thereof:
    Jessica Pepper Stock
    Yelp Spray
    Disney Biel

    You have to admit Jessica Pepper Stock is a pretty rockin’ name.

  17. Yep. Nick is my new best friend.

    Combine those with the JanusNode:

    Jessica Pepper Stock the Unrealistic Burbot. Fucking poetry, man….

    He even left zombie typo-bait: Hit the iron well it’s hot

  18. janus says:

    > Combine those with the JanusNode:
    > Fucking poetry, man….

    Hey, thanks, I try.


  19. herr doktor bimler says:

    Bimler First into the Hopper.

    Sounds like a job for Photoshop.

  20. Huh. I always figured you more for a Giger kind of guy, bimler.

  21. herr doktor bimler says:

    Oh it’s all Northern Renaissance artwork here, all the time.

  22. Nick says:

    I ment to leaf that typo-bait! No, realy.

    I’m adding the fact that I am now ZRM’s best friend to my resume. Hell, maybe even to my email sig file.

  23. fuck

    with all this work on both ends, is it any wonder I finally got sick?


    thank gurg I have lots of tequila. If im gonna barf, at least i can be fucked up.

  24. talk about an unrealistic burbot. nothing went fucking right tonight. bashed my hand up, couldn’t finish the robot shroud, yelled at several kids, the intake belts are fucked up, the drive chains are AWOL, the programmers are revolting (and smelly and sarcastic) and they can’t get THEIR shit straight either….

    and so now it’s bagged and sealed, and it is what it is, until the competition day. We suck.

    We are so fucked.

    I hate everybody.


    Except for the waitress that is bringing me a Kooba Zombre. Oh wait, that’s not a waitron, that’s me

Go ahead, tell me how I fucked up this time.

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