It’s A Long Way To The Promised Land

Posted: March 29, 2012 in Uncategorized

Department of Neighborhood Services.

3 plan-sets, four copies of each; 12 pages in each set.

12 dwelling units

6 land parcels

25,000 square feet of construction

4 plan examiners

$2500 in plan review fees.

$11 in parking.

3 Hours.

 

I was going to spend some time arguing past mikey and getting irate about things we agree on, as is tradition, but I am fucking beat.

16 32  48  oz of Cuba Zombre.

So all you get is videos.

scuse my while I refresh my drink.

I probably wouldn’t even kill a squirrel if one walked in here, unless maybe he was eying my Sailor Jerry’s.

Also heard in the Plan Exam conference room: “Look, I don’t want to compliment you because architects have big enough egos already, but for the people we see submitting plans, you are good at code work.”

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Comments
  1. Which, of course, brings us to This.

  2. Kathleen says:

    I would listen to The Black Keys and post comments about deer

  3. I would drink a shot from a tequila bottle shaped like antlers

    there. tightened that up a bit.

  4. Kathleen says:

    LOL. perfect. and on that note, I am heading out.

  5. Kathleen says:

    may the deer be always in your favor

  6. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© says:

    As John Lopperbutt’s attorney, I must warn you that you’ve gone too far.
    ~

  7. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© says:

    I tried o hit some deer on the golf course for dinner, but they stayed in the fairway.

    So it wasn’t possible.
    ~

  8. As John Lopperbutt’s attorney,

    I suggest you will need to call Milwaukee Law Firm and Venison Processor.

    In fact, if you hit one of those deer, perhaps you can kill two birds with one lawsuit.

  9. I see nothing has changed…

    Jennifer obviously hasn’t caught up on all the blogs yet.

  10. herr doktor bimler says:

    I would drink a shot from a tequila bottle shaped like antlers

    What, no “10 Little Jagermeisters” links?

  11. mikey says:

    “I don’t actually know anything about his sexual practices, other than that I suspect they involve obscure plants and punk bands that only released one album in 1981.”

    THAT is freakin’ hilarious. I’m heading into the weekend with a tailwind.

    Thank you.

    (Although my ex-wife would tell you I pretty much always have a “tail wind”)

    Look, if it’s not your thing, fine. But hunting, especially large, plentiful, good to eat game like deer is a pretty serious rush. Lining up a 75 meter shot over open sights in light cover, wondering if the shot’s there, watching the deer start to turn broadside, clicking off the safety, feeling like you’re committed to it now, heart starting to pound even as you try to slow your breathing, all the colors brighter, the breeze demands your attention, all your senses feeling hyper-aware, the deer stops, the front sight steadies, you see it – clearly – you are literally living two seconds ahead of real time as everything locks into place and you just squeeeeeeeeeeze and BANG! the gun fires itself and the deer kicks up its hind legs, spins around, takes three big strides and falls.

    Like I say, if it’s not your thing that’s fine. But it’s important to recognize that it is at the same time not an act of consummate evil. And I thank my host Zombie for pointing that out better than I could have, and i raise a glass.

    Slainte!

  12. I figured everyone had it bookmarked already.

  13. mikey’s comment interrupted my response to bimler, hilariously.

  14. Kathleen says:

    dude. mikey just killed a deer on your blog.

  15. Kathleen says:

    I think I needed the part about how when you lined it up in your sights you could see it was starving anyways and there were like 5 other MORE ADORABLE deer nearby eating the scant food and maybe how it was disease-ridden and about to die anyways, and also something about the circle of life?

  16. Kathleen says:

    also maybe its eyes glowed red or wept pus, instead of being limpid black pools of compassion and love of nature and grass. and also maybe it kind of kicked some smaller deer so you knew it was a real asshole.

  17. Kathleen says:

    I’m not saying that in a zombie apocalypse I wouldn’t kill a deer to feed my family, but I am saying that in a zombie apocalypse I’m pretty sure that I will die immediately b/c I need glasses to see beyond 16 inches and also I’m pretty sure in that scenario I wake up in a forest where sweet soft lovely deer have kicked to death a bunch of zombies and are now nuzzling me sweetly and bringing me berries.

  18. if deer start kicking zombies to death, we have a PROBLEM.

    Basically, I am calling mikey and giving him an extra jug of Sailor Jerry’s.

  19. Kathleen says:

    I think the deer would bring me Sailor Jerrys

  20. Kathleen says:

    100!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

  21. In celebrtation, I am going to turn threaded comments back on.

  22. Kathleen says:

    I just scard the cat I OMGed so hard

  23. Kathleen says:

    YOU EXIST TO TORMENT Me

  24. Kathleen says:

    ok ok ok I promise I WILL TALK TO THE DEER. no kicking of any zombies that like Bad Religion and Blue Oyster Cult

  25. Kathleen, the Deer Whisperer.

  26. herr doktor bimler says:

    dude. mikey just killed a deer on your blog.

    JUST TO WATCH IT DIE.

  27. mikey says:

    I woke up in the middle of the night in a panic with the realization that I had used the word “literally” inappropriately on this very blog, something I have previously mocked and shunned otherwise good people for.

    My heart is broken. What’s worse, my crest has fallen. I don’t know what to say or do to make things right. I suppose I should just turn myself in to the language police and accept whatever punishment they choose to mete out…

  28. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© says:

    You could just play some Judas Priest by way of atonement, mikey.
    ~

  29. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© says:

    I can’t help but notice that HDB’s (IF that is his real name!) request for this video was ignored.

    Feexed.
    ~

  30. Jennifer says:

    thunder is banned.

  31. I did respond, thunderpants. Bimler can’t make me dance though.

    Jennifer is right. Thunder is sentenced to having his name spelled right until the orbs return.

    mikey is sentenced to read two chapters of Doughbob Loadpants’ book.

  32. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© says:

    My latest post is orbic, zrm.

    P.S. I’d rather have my name speeled rite than have to read anything by the Pantload.
    ~

  33. After discussing it with my Advisors and the broken TV in the basement, I have OFFICIALLY DECIDED, in my capacity as Zombudsgloob and Undersecretary For Rays of Motherfucking Sunshine, that a solo Zardoz such as Kathleen field-tested in this thread deserves a Special Name; and from here on such shall be known as a Bad Ronald. Black Glasses worn during one are optional, but are worth bonus points. Padding the count fish-style is considered bad form.

    Argument on this shall not be entertained.

  34. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© says:

    fish-style kung fu?

    How come I’ve never heard of this before?

    P.S. Here’s some geese. Maybe I’ll put this in a post.

    P.S. I’m toasting Kathleen’s historic achievement with a (o.k., some) glass of Malbec.
    ~

  35. yeah, Kathleen pretty much creamed that one.

  36. Hmm…click the “Older Comments” link or not?

  37. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© says:

    P.S. It has come to my attention that a certain honoree has a blog.

    And now one could click from here to there to here to there to here to there to here to there to here to there to here to there to here to there to here to there to here to there to here to there to here to there to here to there to here to there to here to there to here to there to here to there to here to there to here to there to here to there to here to there to here to there to here to there to here to there to here to there to here to there to here to there to here to there to here to there to here to there to here to there to here to there to here to there to here to there to here to there to here to there to here to there to here to there to here to there to here to there to here to there to here to there until the cows come home.

    As they say.
    ~

  38. Kathleen says:

    LOL. I am wearing black glasses right now.

  39. Kathleen says:

    and watching Tigres v. Morelia

  40. fish says:

    Fish style kung fu is indefensible.

Go ahead, tell me how I fucked up this time.

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