Where have all the good times gone

Posted: May 5, 2012 in Uncategorized

Hmpf.  Working on a post in the vein of political/architectural/Turdwaffle slashfic, and it is just as appalling as you might think.  Trying to balance the informational and rage aspects, and it’s hard to make it work out.

So meanwhile, took the orange creature to the dog park, she rolled through all the drainage ditches and now smells repellent, watched the Brewers lose (we have a baseball team?  Who knew?) and then made a nifty little dinner of dead cow and garlic-onion mashies, while watching a Beastie Boys retrospective on VH1.

So now, I have a good chunk of a jug of Sailor Jerry’s, and a bunch of crappy horror movies queued up on the DumbScreen.  First up is Eight Legged Freaks, which Wife Sublime won’t even sit in the same room; and then, maybe, the remake of Don’t Be Afraid Of The Dark, depending on what I can find for zombie fare.

And just thinking about gravel roof ballast….



PS.  Watching a scene where what-his-name that is married to Courtney Cox was getting a straight razor shave, and thinking about my last haircut; McKenzie does a straight razor trim on my neck, and it is AWESOME.  And then the movie goes straight into a scene where a blond rockhead gets tased in the nuts, and then from there, right THE HELL INTO MONSTER SPIDERS EATING MOTOCROSS BIKE KIDS.  Crappy horror movies are so great.



  1. Zombie Comparisons, FWIW file.

    8 Legged freaks; Large jumping spiders eviscerating character actors in a small town. whattaya want, art?

    Don’t be Afraid Of The Dark: Damaged by the appearances of Katie Holmes and Guy Pearce and their respective agents who do not allow them to die. Also, Starts to suck once the creepiness is revealed to all be due to ‘little creepies” Sorry, Guillermo, a big budget remake of Ghoulies is kind of lame.

    Also, fuck you Guillermo, your depiction of a clueless architect is STUPID. We are typically clueless in completely different ways than you depicted. Also, it is weird that the most sympathetic creatures in the movie are the koi in the hidden pond.

    OK, I admit that Katie Holmes dies. But frankly, who can tell. And, by the end, she is still talking, so fuck you.

    No breasts, no blood and what there is shows up on the handy man, and I am only gonna allow a partial beast cause they are all so FUCKING TINY, and how scared can you be of small creatures you can stomp who are scared of light? FFS, dude, they are cockroaches with hands; three rednecks wearing shitkicking boots will put an end to this.

    Final score: big , poorly CGI spiders vs big-budget CGI small stupid creatures: without reservation, it goes to the big stupid spiders, because at least chainsaws and motorcycles were involved.

  2. Next up, cuz I am an idiot with an alcohol supply who has not passed out yet the 9th installment of the Hellraiser franchise. NINTH! If it wasn’t good, why would they have made it nine times? As Joe Bob says, if you’re gonna make a sequel, bring the dead back to life and MAKE THE SAME DAMN MOVIE. Let’s see how they do.

    ..OK, not so we so far. It’s set in Tijuana, and is so far all hand-cam Blair Witch style. Does NOT look good.

  3. Oh holy hell, that one sucked so bad that I bailed; and I have a pretty fucking high tolerance for bad movies. Switched to Randy Quaid in Parents.

  4. I am twisted enough to admit that I like the design of their house in this movie.

  5. Kathleen says:

    I am watching THE IMMORTALS

  6. herr doktor bimler says:

    Parents is one my fave movies.

  7. herr doktor bimler says:

    Sodding WordPress. Because I commented above, WP is now spamming me — foolishly assuming that my e-mail would not be used for spam, I inserted a correct one into the ‘details’ space — with messages inviting me to “follow” the Empire. Or rather, the messages inform me that I have *asked* to follow the Empire.

    Same thing resulted from commenting at VS’s blog.

    Sodding WP. The programmers are trying very hard to discourage people from commenting.

  8. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© says:

    Oh, I can categorize this post: HALPING JENNIFER

  9. mikey says:

    Maybe I’m just paranoid, but I thought the Empire was following me…

  10. mikey says:

    You know, it IS a little bit annoying to have to delete a robotic email every time I leave a comment over here. Not sure why it decided to do that, but by golly I sibilate in the general direction of WordPress…

  11. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© says:

    it’s not just mehmpire, it’s all of Wrodperss.

  12. The geeks at WP are apparently jealous of all the advances in hating your customers being achieved at Microsoft, Blogger and Facebook.

    Trying to see if there’s a setting I can change. Bear with me.

  13. another kiwi says:

    Space Amoeba is tremendously scary. I may never have squid rings again.
    Commenting is a fraught business these days. I cannot comment at Kathleens, Vons, BG, and Brando’s and with difficulty at alicublog. On Saturday night, for a short time, whiskey fire was uncommentable on for me. I have tried using the Tor browser and type /ncr/ on the end of URL’s.
    Luckily the things that I was going to say are pretty lame anyway.

  14. FWIW, I am now getting two comment notifications whenever one comment is made.

    WP is going whack.

  15. The /ncr/ URL endings stuck in my blogroll (which is what I use to get around usually) and everything seems okay. I noticed that the zombie got eaten at my place, so maybe the Blogger spam filters are acting up.

  16. mikey says:

    I want to be known as “The Spy Who Always Plays Dumb”.

    That way, nobody would ever think I WAS dumb!!

  17. Kathleen says:

    I totally thought I had clicked on something and blamed myself.

    I like to think this says something meta, the ppl who know to blame Word Press immediately, and those of us who assume we did something wrong.

  18. Kathleen says:

    AK I turned WV off, maybe that will help?….

  19. Kathleen says:

    DId WP just send Zombie 4 emails? I NEED TO KNOW THESE THINGS

  20. herr doktor bimler says:

    Is there a WP setting that causes it to Zardoz the Empire?

  21. fish says:

    I am watching THE IMMORTALS

    I saw this on the plane. It is 300 without the nuance.

  22. Mistah Zardoz he Dead.

    DId WP just send Zombie 4 emails? I NEED TO KNOW THESE THINGS

    yes; five actually. But that’s kind of because there ARE five new comments.

    I turned off the “follow comments” option. It seemed like FYWP was automatically setting it to the ‘follow’ option whenever a comment is made. Commenters could just deselect it when making a comment, it avoids the extra emails. But I know my readers.

  23. I saw this on the plane. It is 300 without the nuance.

    I would rather watch Hellraiser 9.

  24. Kathleen says:

    eh, I appreciated the severe style and the multiple non-white women characters.

  25. mikey says:

    Look out. I’m grouchy tonight. Dinner is Schnitzel and Attitude, topped with too much cheap ass rum and not enough judgement.

    Just saying….

Go ahead, tell me how I fucked up this time.

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