Heaped up powders, bottles and tubes It’s all gone upside down It never turns to gold

Posted: August 31, 2012 in Fuck You Friday, Humanity is a virus, Turdwaffle and problems

It’s like, duh. Just when you thought there wasn’t a dime’s worth of difference between the two parties, the Republicans go and prove you’re wrong. — Molly Ivins

I’ve been spending the week working, trying to catch up from the efforts to finish the ZomPatio and get the party launched, and catch up on sleep.  Had several deadlines show up, and am behind on others.

So is it a surprise that I all but ignored the RNC convention?  Hey, I am normally not inclined to watch angry white people congratulate themselves on their whiteness and hurl accolades at rich people whose biggest accomplishment was winning the birth-parent lottery, not to mention demonizing everybody who isn’t rich, white, hetero, and conservative.  I even skipped most of the Daily Show/ Colbert coverage.

Until last night.

Oh, I read some of the excerpts of Lyin Ryan’s speech, and marveled at his ability to prevaricate while blue-eyed.  And I read some of the commentary from some of the bloggerhood, of course.  In the end, though, how can I resist commenting on this train wreck?  Even trying to sleep through the thing, I couldn’t tear my eyes away.
Up first; the stage.    A Frank Lloyd Wright theme?  Look; I have spent a fair amount of time both studying the doods life and work, and am pretty sure I have been in more of his buildings (especially the privately-owned residential work) than anyone outside of a handful of architectural historians.  When called upon, I can design effectively in the prairies style idiom (but since nobody really builds that way anymore, it makes little sense except as an affectation).  So when I say W.T.F., it is not just hyperbole.

The residential prairie style look they were going for was developed 120 years ago, and was intended to be used in intimate, residentially scaled spaces, not cavernous auditoriums.  When designing BIG spaces, FLLW worked a completely different side of the street (except maybe in the case of Midway Gardens or perhaps the Imperial Hotel, but in both of those cases he designed everything in the space down to the tableware and linens).  And due to the need for the Big TeeVees, the design was overwhelmed by digital effects.

Come On.  The designer himself said he arrived at the parti after a simple Goofle search.  REALLY??!? come on.  What the fuck did they pay this designer?  FFS, I have more research material on the prairie style within reach of my desk.  At the very least, hire me as a fucking consultant.

As the architectural critic said, the Wright touches are ‘very faint’.  As in practically non-existent.  If they WERE going for the residential prairie style look, where are the long horizontals?  The repetitive doors or fenestration?  the rich textures of carpets, walls, or lighting?  the FUCKING COLORS???!?  It is long a misinterpretation that Wrightian designs were all dark woods; but in reality, that is how they photographed in black and white and as the wood was naturally finished, it tended to darken over time so when we look at it now, it is darker than it was designed.

Designing a stage is not easy, especially for this kind of big barn.  However, as the London Olympics showed, (not to mention things like this and this.   LOL, given how fascistic the GOP is, The Wall is kind of appropriate)  A decent designer can do wonderful things.  One begins to think that perhaps Willard did that clueless CEO thing — “My friend Tom Monahan built Frank Lloyd Wright things that I really like.  Do it that way.”  design Decision FALES.

Next up for the Zombie Shovel:  Obvious Anagram Reince Priebus.  Dude.  I hate you and all you stand for, but perhaps you might NOT get wasted before the biggest speech of your life?

Here, look:

RNC Chairman Foster Brooks!

…and I say that as a fellow Wisconsinite.

Speaking of rambling incoherent speeches, how can I not mention Clint Eastwood yelling at an empty chair?  Instead of the internet arguing about Willard’s coronation speech, it is busy generating memes:


But the best meme comes from the guy who Clint Eastwood hallucinated he was talking at:

Jeebus, for spending more money than Rmoney on this gobsmacking hall of crap, it sure came off as second-rate.  At least they are locking up the drunk, angry old white guy demographic.  Before they all die of rage-induced strokes.

For all the Republicans I come across from here on out, I am just gonna say “you want to elect the people who put Clint eastwood on stage arguing with an empty chair in charge of the COUNTRY??!!?  Friend of the Empire Nick must be glad he bailed from the S.S. GOP Failboat before this.

So, this Fuck You Friday goes out to the RNC, more in sorrow than in rage.  OK, also in mockery.  More in mockery and laughing than sorrow.

But we’ll wind up with the Lyin Ryan iPod meme, started by laura over at thundra’s place:  take your iPod or music liberry, what’s the first artist, last artist in the alpahbetical part, and the last artist in numerics.  For my main music liberry, it is A.A. Bondy, ZZTop, and The 1900s.


  1. Great post and roundup of their little fuckfest Zombilicious. Personally, I loved Eastwoods dumbass shtick. He’s a Ron Paul libertarian kinda guy and might of been giving the GOP a small ‘fuck you’..even if he did sound like he was in the first stage of dementia.

  2. Oh and Reince Priebus is a fucking moron..but you knew that. 😉 I hope he drives that GOP train straight to hell in November.

  3. Oh and Reince Priebus is a fucking moron

    there are times to be drunk…and there are times to NOT be.

  4. No shit Bro..but what do you expect from that asshole?

  5. Are we the only ones who didn’t start the weekend early, Dusty? Ahh, no matter, I have started the Sailor Jerry’s….sipppp.

    My buddy Ror and I are going to see this lady tonight:

    Keep myself in pain indeed. She has sung with Neko Case and Jon Langford and the Mekons, and was in a band called The Jody Grind which I am almost positive I saw back in the 90s when I was in Atlanta looking at CAD systems for my boss.

  6. Jennifer says:

    Yes, it was a great post, and I just realized I had read it earlier, but then lifted the Simpson image to send someone else since I had been trying to find it.

    That said, I’ll go back to drinking my Blue Moon bevrahje…

  7. I had a Madison brew last night. OK, three. Ambergeddon by Ale Asylum. It was swell.

  8. Heard on the Professional Left podcast (re Clint): “and they were afraid of having RON PAUL speak!?!?!?!”

  9. I hate you and all you stand for, but perhaps you might NOT get wasted before the biggest speech of your life?

    You are completely correct that he is wrecked, but how can he live with himself otherwise?

  10. OT.

    Lemme tell you a story.

    Back when I left home to go to a cow-town land grant college in an effort to better myself (HAH! look at how THAT turned out) I found one of my great and good friends almost immediately. We both loved beer and prog music and beer.

    And one night out at the local biker joint (you can see I have always had questionable taste in friends yes I am looking at all of YOU) this friend and I struck up a conversation with two lovely young ladies, and shared many beers. So, as college students will, we went back to their room for a makeout session.

    But once in the room, I was COMPLETELY distracted by the 12-string acoustic one of them had propped in a corner. I had a crappy acoustic and a somewhat better electric, and was completely unskilled (nothing has changed) but I picked it up and was entranced by the depth and complexity of the sound. She, of course, was appalled as I was heroically drunk, and promptly took it away from me (quite properly) and put it in its case.

    Keep in mind that this was back when I was working my way from high school metalhead to punk, and a folkie 12 string was anathema in either case. But I could never get the sound of that guitar out of my head.

    I was amused that when one of our other good friends (who actually could play guitar) also visited that room, he could not resist the Strings of Twelve either. And since HE was also drunk, she also took it away from HIM. It’s like a theme.

    Well. In any case, one of those lovely young ladies wound up being married to me, and the other one was present at our party last weekend.

    In later years, affection for jangle-pop bands kept that dream of extra strings alive; seeing the early-Genesis repro band The Musical Box and their extensive use of 12 strings was also good. FWIW, I also have an acoustic four song set of the post-Collins Genesis that I quite like. I never could quite kick that itch for that guitar with all those tuning pegs on that extra-long headboard.

    So, since I finally got paid for some work, I gave myself an early birthday present. It’s only an Ibanez, and certainly isn’t expensive, but it has a fuck of a lot better action than my six string acoustic, and even though I haven’t had time to practice tuning, I already am looking forward to blowing out many strings while working my way up to atrocious on it.

    Alls I can say is thank FSM for electronic tuners.

  11. but how can he live with himself otherwise?

    He’s an intermediate functionary Republican. How much pride can he have? Look, Michael Steel was able to do it, and he’s BLAH.

  12. herr doktor bimler says:

    there are times to be drunk…and there are times to NOT be.


  13. Jennifer says:

    Have you ever noticed that the real info comes out in the comments, not the posts?? That last comment of yours should have been a post. Just sayin’

  14. I know, Jennifer, and I thought the same thing. But I have to get out of here to meet Rory for drinks and food and music, and I decided I couldn’t give a fuck.

  15. Have you ever noticed that the real info comes out in the comments, not the posts??

    Look, I said I was gonna tell you a story. If you didn’t get a new beer, it isn’t my fault.

  16. @Jennifer: I think if you look back at my posts, I am quite prone to bleeding real information all over them. Perhaps too much.

    If I use this 12 string to write songs, I am kind of hoping that they end up messy and painful and semi-autobiographical and horrible also. Perhaps I can get an opening gig for Neubaten.

  17. Glad you got yourself a birthday present you will enjoy. I did the same as I will be seeing The Boss a week or so before my day in Dec in LA.

  18. mikey says:

    Did somebody say write songs?

    I have no sense of music, can’t play anything, but dood, I’ve got lyrics up the ass.

    How’s this for my audition?

    I know I truly love her
    But I think I’m gonna need some cover
    And I know that god would surely strike me dead
    Is it a sin if I even just WANT to take her to bed?

    I want to get her outta that habit
    And go at it like a rabbit
    ‘Cause she’s hotter than the surface of the sun
    But I guess it’s not to be ’cause she’s a nun

    Maybe you just don’t git it
    But I’m tellin you boy I’d hit it
    ‘Cause she’s hotter than the surface of the sun
    But I guess it’s not to be ’cause she’s a nun

  19. What’s all this racket?

    “Humanity is a virus.”

    Did M. Bouffant halp on this thang?

  20. mikey says:

    Thinking we should write some ironic hedge fund songs….

  21. “humanity is a virus” is the first song I ever wrote, thunder. It was 1:59 of percussion noises, guitar feedback, and rabbit death-squeals.

  22. TEN MINUTES, Substance? How the fuck does he keep it in tune?

  23. Ach. Tuning, practice, I can make it all up with enthusiasm and profanity.

  24. I feel bad, mikey, because all I have ever manged is a batch of ironic hedge hog songs.

  25. herr doktor bimler says:

    I remember the good old days when ZRM would Zardoz other people’s blogs.

  26. Big Bad Bald Bastard says:

    She has sung with Neko Case and Jon Langford and the Mekons, and was in a band called The Jody Grind which I am almost positive I saw back in the 90s when I was in Atlanta looking at CAD systems for my boss.

    Finally, the tables have turned… I saw the Jody Grind open for Robyn Hitchcock at the Beacon Theater in Manhattan in the mid 90s.

    Damn, that felt good.

  27. herr doktor bimler says:

    Now I’m gonna have to scan in some original Bob Scott [Bats] artwork just to keep up with the hipsters.

  28. Tables have turned, BBBB? How do you mean? Did you miss the point where I said I saw the Jody Grind in a bar in Atlanta in the early 90s?

    Talking to Kelly (yes we are on first name basis now) after the show, she reminisced about those days… she even could name one or two of the likely bars we saw her at….even if it was maybe bittersweet due to the demise of that band.

  29. LOL, I suddenly noticed my page hits went off the fucking charts today. HI, everybody from Crooks and Liars! And thanks to Tengrain for the linkies.

  30. Green Eagle says:

    I was glad to see you make this point. I am an architect. I first read “The Natural House” and “The Living City” when I was 13 years old. John Sergeant, author of a well-known book on Usonian Houses was my director of studies when I was a research student at Cambridge. I have also been in quite a few Wright buildings. When I heard about the supposed Wright influence on the Republican stage set, I was interested enough to take a look at it. I can’t find a shred of Wright in anything about that design.

    In the end, the Republican claim about the Iconic American architect is but one more empty claim designed to reinforce the out of control American exceptionalist mindset that prevails on the right today.

  31. Green Eagle, I have that book.

    I had a couple of classes with Paul Sprague, an art historian who has studied Wright extensively.

  32. Isn’t the point about pretending that the set is Wrightish is that FLW was supposed to be the inspiration for the asshole protagonist of the Fountainhead?

  33. I wouldn’t guess the RNC is capable of that kind of subtlety, Ned.

  34. If that’s subtle, the agony of my years of dating is both explained and takes on more pathos.

  35. No, it wouldn’t be that subtle; the subtlety that is beyond them is not chortling about the link, confident in the knowledge that it will be pissing off a liberal, somehow. I can’t see the planners being able to resist pointing out how CLEVER they are being.

    Also, most of the Randians seem to be more worshipful of Atlas Shrugged than the F-Head. It’s longer, and has the 70 page “you’ll be sorry when I’m gone” speech.

  36. Maybe they bragged in private. Have you checked “Better Homes and Wingnuts”?

  37. […] Keep Myself In …M. Bouffant on I Like To Keep Myself In …nedbeaumontjr on Heaped up powders, bottles and…zombie rotten mcdona… on I Like To Keep Myself In …zombie rotten mcdona… […]

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