Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap.

Posted: October 9, 2012 in Humanity is a virus, Turdwaffle and problems




Motherfucking Turdwaffle avoids the witness stand.

For those playing along at home, Rindfleisch was being targeted for using the County Exec offices for inappropriate political activity, a felonious no-no.  Rindfleisch was Turdwaffle’s chief of staff at the time.

This was  to be the first of several guest appearances in the Room With the Big Desk on Turdwaffle’s dance card, but it looks like Kelly Rindfleisch may have folded.

Turdwaffle, you may feel like you dodged a bullet on the recall, but your owners can’t buy all the judges.

As Charlie Pierce says (and he’s not even channeling driftglass this time) “In other words, if Walker’s got plans to go national, he’s going to have to do it while riding every ride in Depositionland. Best of luck, Scott.”

Yeah, go take a flying fuck at a rolling donut, Turdwaffle.  Go take a flying fuck at the MOOOOOOOOONNNNNNN!!!

I recognize that it is extremely unlikely that Turdwaffle will be spending any serious time in The House Of Many Doors (h/t driftglass), but a zombizzle can dream, can’t I? 


  1. Landru says:

    I heartily endorse your language choices (you could always say “fuck” more, but I find your effort to be enthusiastic, genuine, and cockle-warming), and share in your distaste for your governor, Casa Satanica being a public-employee-union-benefitted household, in extremis maximoso QED slam.

    And I’m really, really sorry that he didn’t end up in court. Getting the governor in the dock is a time-honored tradition here in Maryland, one I think all states should toke on, deeply.

  2. Landru says:

    And if elected Governor of Maryland, I pledge to blame fish.

  3. mikey says:

    Ahh well.

    If it truncates an otherwise skyrocketing career as a fascist hack politician, then it was worthwhile.

    Now, what can we do about Eric Cantor?

  4. Since Landru linked to Moar Felicia, I will post some My Drunk Kitchen:

  5. fish says:

    My reading is the plea is much more damaging long term to Walker than having a turd on the stand right now would be.

    • I hate to say it, but I kind of agree with Fish, Who Is Not A Lawyer (FWINAL). Rindfleisch copped a plea, as they used to say on the cop shows; typically, that is done to offer up testimony against someone higher up, right? And who was higher up than she was in the County Exec office? (hint: his nickname down Charlie Pierce way includes the words “goggle-eyed”).

      However, as a politician, any time spent in the Room With The Big Desk is Not Good. The visuals of Turdwaffle exiting the courthouse, swamped with reporters, will be of use to his eventual opponents.

      Fortunately, it seems that future appearances are in the pipeline. The John Doe prosecution is working slowly and methodically and carefully; almost as if they have a bigger target in mind….

  6. mikey says:

    To provide a bit of historical (hysterical?) color, the term “Cop a Plea” actually predates cop shows. It comes from a document that would be filled out and signed by a defendant wishing to plead guilty after his or her arraignment. This form was called a “Change of Plea” form and was abbreviated COP.

    This is not to be confused with the term “Cop” used as a synonym for “Police Officer”. The origins of this usage is in dispute, but most likely stems from the original official identifier in the NY Police Department of “Constable on Patrol”. There is another school of thought that it is a shortened version of “Copper”, derived from the bright copper buttons on the original NYPD uniform.

    I know. But I don’t have enough to do right now. I’m kinda just screwing around unproductively today, watching no less than FOUR playoff baseball games with varying degrees of interest and generally slacking. I don’t have any errands to run, so I most likely won’t even put on shoes or leave the cave.

    So it seems likely you may hear from me again…

  7. Landru says:

    I’m enjoying how my Twitter machine feed is all loaded up with news and todenangst about how badly the Nationals are getting smacked around, and how we’re enduring all this traffic and absenteeism for nothing. I’m especially enjoying it since I don’t give a flaming fuck about the Nats, and I’m safely ensconced in suburbia.

  8. mikey says:

    Giants hanging on by their fingernails even with Zito being Zito. Lincecum in and it’s only the 4th.

    Meanwhile, company I interviewed with on Monday followed up this morning to find out my salary requirements. Best answer? Some.

    Turkey fucking with the Russians, the Russians canceling Nunn-Lugar disarmament treaty, and my blog blowing up over my East China Sea post.

    Game is on TBS, which means I get to see some really annoying commercials, including a couple of Obamas, that I don’t ordinarily see. Hey, speaking of, isn’t the walking dead due back pretty soon? Hang on a second. Yep, sure enough, Sunday night. I better clean some shit off the murder recorder…

    • fish says:

      I am now shifting my Patriot ritual voodoo to help secure Mikey a job. Hopefully it will work better for you than it did in the 2011 Superbowl.

  9. I interviewed with on Monday followed up this morning to find out my salary requirements.

    Make sure they include a corporate shovel.

    and my blog blowing up over my East China Sea post.

    I approve of blowing up blogs. Done it myself several times. It’s freeing.

  10. mikey says:

    My guess, and I’d like to take the position right upfront that I’ll never actually know for sure, but nonetheless my guess is that Miller 64 is pretty nasty. Even if their commercials have hot babes in them…

    • Pretty fair bet, although I will never be the one determine it for sure. They keep making these damn beers lighter and more tasteless. By the time someone offers me a Lite beer, I figure I might as well drink almost anything else. And that includes Zima.

  11. mikey says:

    I don’t have any friends or know any actual humans. So nobody tries to make me drink lite beer or Zima. I’d drink rich Islay Single Malt Scotch but I don’t have a pot to piss in, so I drink Sailor Jerry’s because it’s 92 proof and 21 bucks a great big bottle. And it goes down pretty easily. But it’s dosage rather than hedonism, make no mistake…

  12. It’s such a fine line between hedonism and dosage, mikey….

    Maddow had a bit on Paul Ryan in advance of the VP debate, and someone referred to him as the ‘intellectual of the Republican Party”. Heard in the zombie living room: “if that motherfucker is an intellectual, I am a fucking ballerina.”

  13. mikey says:

    To be honest, once upon a time I found myself fucking a ballerina. Let me tell you two things about ballerinas. First, their feet are FUCKED UP. Ugly, misshapen, damaged and in constant pain. Whoever thought up that fucking toe dancing bullshit was almost certainly a sadist. The other thing is, well, to put it bluntly, they stink. These are athletes in every sense but that we acknowledge, and they work incredibly hard, sweat through everything, and often do it in bizarre, heavy costumes that just soak it all up and can’t be effectively cleaned. Kind of like the big ass Goofy costume in Disneyland.

    The upside is that, when they aren’t injured, ballerinas are incredibly flexible and stomp down crazy in bed….

  14. oakdilettante says:

    GO A’s!!!

  15. oakdilettante says:

    Go A’s!!!!

  16. I sure hope someone rolls over and rats this fucker out…It would make my year politically speaking.

Go ahead, tell me how I fucked up this time.

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