What Part Of Get Thee Gone Don’t You Understand?

Posted: December 7, 2012 in Fuck You Friday

Gonna be a short Fuck You Friday tonight.  I got distracted by work, and lunch, and bookkeeping, and then I needed a good stiff drink, and then it was time for the Professional Left Podcast and now it’s almost time to go home.

But this article at Great Orange Satan requires me to respond.  Because it is one of the only was to bring my fucking blood pressure back down that doesn’t involve edged weapons or spin-kicks.


Orange Weepy AGAIN brings up the fucking trite overhyped bullshit talking point about “small business owners”.

Look, you pudding-tainted pantypuncher, I ARE a small business.  Yeah, yeah, I know, a REALLY small business, shutthefuckup and sitthefuckdown, willya?  But in contrast to that orange-tinted golfing asshat, I have actually hired people from time to time.

And I have to re-iterate a  comment I made to that tinwhistle “Reagan’s Disciple” over at the Political Environment a while back:  Look, asshole, if you, as a business owner, are paying personal tax rates on your business profit, you either have the WORST accountant, are a complete moronic nimrod, or both.

This is not that difficult, unless you are a fucking Congressman, apparently. (and I am simplifying this so that even congressman can understand it)

You have a business.  You have expenses.  Your business takes in money.  Subtract the first from the second, that is your profit.  If it is red, you have a loss.  If it is black, you made money.

But, as that old goddam cartoon said, you don’t just take that money (unless you are running Hostess or Bain).  Oh no.  You use that money to improve or expand your business. and then that money is not taxed. Fuck, it’s not even taxed at personal rates until you pay yourself; and if you use it in your salary or bonuses, it isn’t taxed at business rates.  THAT’S the reason for Christmas Bonuses, you camel-faced gerbilwaxer, not from some philanthropic wiggling.  It is used to avoid end of year taxation on funds carried over.

INCREASING taxes at either the corporate or personal level will do, among other things, one particular thing:  IT WILL ENCOURAGE BUSINESS OWNERS TO RE-INVEST IN BUSINESS.  To avoid  the taxation, you see, you bottom-of-the-class dimwit.  If I can currently meet my business needs without hiring, I will improve my efficiency or perhaps branch into new services.  If things are going great guns, I will hire more people.  If I just roll all my profit into my own personal wealth, I am a moron.

The only people taking money out of the economy are rich assholes, not the government.  Taxes don’t magically disappear, they get shoved right the hell back into the economy through purchasing and hiring.

Fuck, I am starting to feel like Paul Krugman here.  His Nobel must be meager consolation when he has to argue with people so ignant and blind as The Only Congress We Have.


Oh yea, Orange Bonerless Boner:

Go Fuck Yourself Also Too

When the zompocalypse comes, we are not going to eat Boner’s brain; we will just wring the alcohol out of it into our mouths,  like a sponge.

  1. Slow Claps for the visitors who arrive here by searching for ‘fuck you friday’.

    I love to start a meme.

  2. mikey says:

    Unfortunately, much of that went over my head. I have a hundred and six dollars. I will receive my next unemployment payment in thirteen days. I am learning many things, and thinking many very dark thoughts. Followed immediately by the realization that a man of my age and health in prison will end up with an asshole the size of a blimp hanger. And the options get fewer, and the choices more limited, and the world a little scarier…

    • I feel for you like a brother, mikey. I have actually been there; while we had paid off the house a while before things went to fucking hell, Wife Sublime was sufficiently aggravated by how thoroughly my profession and practice corkscrewed into the ground that it was razor-thin that she would throw my cold undead ass into the gutter, and who could blame her?

      In a moment of clarity, I will confess that such is not ruled out even now.

      I lean toward dark thoughts at the best of times. I like dark art, dark music, dark movies. Dark humor. (the movie Wristcutters is particularly hilarious, as is Heathers. You get my drift.)

      Dark moods can be savage and magnetic, in that everything that comes your way can tend to revolve around the gravitic sink of that black hole. You don’t return phone calls that might provide opportunity. An unexpected paycheck goes toward drugs. A friend reaching out turns into a fight.

      My brother has extended his home equity as far as he can. He’s been off UI for a year. He’s 4 years older than me, so too old for anybody to hire, but too young for SS. He’s done everything “right” when judged by the austerity scolds: post-secondary education, saving his money, living moderately. His only debt was his mortgage and his only indulgence was a small boat, because he loves fishing. And he is at the end of his rope, he cannot afford his mortgage payments anymore; my other brother made the payment for December and I expect I will do it January. On Thanksgiving (warning: painful irony ahead!) we talked a bit about the ideas of him selling his house and/or selling his boat, and when the latter came up, he was barely able to say something along the lines of ‘if I did that, I can’t figure what I would bother living for’.

      So yeah, welcome to Republican post-depression America. When depression is for the little people.

      Again, I need to address Orange Drinky with a spin kick. That fucking asshole.

  3. mikey says:

    Yeah. My sister and BroInLaw are currently subsidizing my existence. But it’s not like they owe me anything and I haven’t really earned their forbearance, and sure, they have a bunch of money but she also has children and you’re not supposed to have to support your little brother. So it’s hard, and the end of the month comes and I understate my shortfall, and then I have to suck it up and try to figure out how to make it to the next UI payment, and those are going to end pretty soon because the Republicans don’t care how many Americans who aren’t fetuses die.

    And of course my COBRA premiums went up and my rent is going up and the motherfuckers want me to sign another 12 month lease, which I guess I don’t give a shit ’cause you can’t get blood out of a turnip, but I’m starting to understand what drove Jim Huberty…

  4. mikey says:

    It’s one of those rules, like not watching your home run or sliding past second base to break up two…

  5. Whale Chowder says:

    Well of course, the whole point of the exercise is to “honor” the pledge they gave to that perpetual juvenile Grover Norquist to never ever nuh-uh raise taxes ever but to make noises toward raising revenue because they can read polls too and they know that the entire country is giving them the collective finger and shouting “FUCK YOU!” in unison. So they’re walking a tightrope, man.

    And Mikey and ZRM’s brother, I feel for ya. I can’t say my situation is anything like as desperate but I’m smart enough to see that in these conditions you don’t have to be much of an outlier to be culled from the herd. There but for the grace of god and all that. Sheesh.

  6. herr doktor bimler says:

    Normally we try to discourage northern-hemisphereans from moving to this corner of the globe, but there is always space for mikey in the spare room.

  7. mikey says:

    Because it can’t be the iconoclastic refusal to use the correct punctuation symbols. People typically find that endearing….

Go ahead, tell me how I fucked up this time.

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