Posted: January 1, 2013 in Body Count, Humanity is a virus

gun lies

These numbers are cherry picked an manipulated to increase fear and inspire more paranoid gun fetishists.

If these numbers were right, victims of gun crime would have used guns to defend themselves over 100 percent of the time.

“the overwhelming evidence from both types of surveys is that guns used in the United States are used far more in crime than in self-defense.”

Fucking liars.

This number has been repeated by the courtier and rightwing press so often that it is taken as true, even though it is not.

  1. Starting a pool: Where is the first mass shooting in the US going to happen in this Oh-So-Happy New Year? Call it by state….Winner gets to have their good mood shattered!

    • mikey says:

      Let’s see. They’ve been recently clustered in the Northeast. So I gotta figure the south is “due”.

      The temptation is to go with the obvious, Texas or Florida, but I’m going to go out on a limb and choose Alabama. Or Mississippi. Maybe Tennessee. One of those with too many consonants and not enough branes…

  2. More cheerful anecdote about Humans, since this is the day for it:

    While visiting with the in-laws on Christmas Day, talk turned to football, as it will; one of my B-I-Ls calmly asserted that blacks were scarce as place kickers in the NFL because they “couldn’t deal with the mental requirements of the position”

    When it was pointed out that this was said about blacks as quarterbacks, and then blacks as coaches, he merely said that place kickers had a “different kind of stress”. He scoffed at the suggestion that perhaps African Americans were attracted to the more remunerative marquee positions.

    We also asked him why blacks and browns had no problems kicking balls in soccer games, to which he merely repeated “It’s different”.

    Modern racism, friends and guinea pigs. Wheee! MB is right. The most you can do is listen to some bad musics while waiting to be a victim of a gun.

  3. mikey says:

    Those number are obviously untrue. They are intuitively untrue. How could it NOT be at least local news if some righteous homeowner defended his home and loved ones in a courageous shootout like they have on teevee all the time? Anybody remember reading about one of these paragons of tactical self defense in the paper or on the web? Anybody? Beuler?

    This is like much of the rest of the American right-wing absolutist rhetoric. Anybody that isn’t already mainlining the kool aid KNOWS it’s horseshit and nobody is actually convinced. Just as, if you weren’t a wholly-owned subsidiary of GOP Inc. you KNEW that cutting taxes could NOT raise revenues – that’s only mathematically possible in a world where taxes are very near 100%. Or a world where deficit spending is the greatest threat to freedom and prosperity we face, saddling our children and their children with a crippled economy and destroying their lives and futures, but somehow still not a serious enough threat to consider increasing taxes to resolve. We have created a system where there is no actual incentive to solve real problems. So we make up just so stories about them instead…

  4. How many rapes and murders are perpetrated by guys with guns? It’s amazing how often they lie and how the never get called out on it.

    Good on you for confronting your B-I-L… at least he had to **SNERK** move the goalposts in his dumbass assertions.

    Oh, and Happy New Year!

  5. herr doktor bimler says:

    The good thing about claiming “almost 2.5 million murders were prevented” is the lack of any need for specifics. It’s not, after all, a claim that X many crimes were thwarted IN THE ACT by someone’s ownership of a firearm; more an implication that the presence of a critical mass of weapon-shaped ironmongery distributed around the US exerted some form of ill-defined mystical intervention against crimes that might otherwise been attempted.

    The way such crimes are happening all the time in less gun-ridden countries, violent hellholes one and all.

  6. I’ve got teh co-workers, very white, northern gun-nuts, spewing this nonsense frequently – “Oh yeah there are people saving other people with guns all the time, nonsensenumber of nuns saved by a neighbor in Numbnutsville, but the news never publishes it whingwhingwhing.”

    Really dumbass? You tell me what local, national, international news is not going to run that story. Christ people, common fucking sense, it’s what’s for dinner. AARRGH.

  7. A Chicago prof who studies crime statistics says that in a given year, about 100 burglaries involve a firearm. While firearms are involved in 22,000 suicides. Now, I am a fool and not as number-savvy as, say, an Engineer, but it seems to me that the risk is not from an intruder….

    • I think the same guy said a gun owner is 4.5 times more likely to be shot by his own weapon than to use it in self defense.

      Of course, if they weren’t innumerate, they wouldn’t be Americans.

      • mikey says:

        To be fair, that’s only because the are too arrogant and too lazy to expend the effort to learn basic weapons retention drills.

        I have put enough hours into understanding how and when to clear a room or a dwelling and how to make sure that my gun can’t be taken from me that I am quite comfortable in suggesting that anybody who get’s “shot with their own gun” didn’t belong in the gene pool in the first place…

      • Well, that’s the goddam POINT, mikey. If people want to own guns, they damn well better be able to handle them responsibly. But lying about them being magickal anti-bad guy totems just by being OWNED only results in a higher goddam body count, and rarely is the body count the people that should be piled up in mounds.

        See my link below about the guy who lost his gun in a fucking THEATER SEAT, and didn’t realize it, didn’t report it to the police, and came back the theater the next day like it would be in the big Lost And Found box with mittens and wallets. He had concealed carry AND firearms dealer permits. The gun was found loaded, with safety off and a round in the chamber. The only reason the kids (there to see the Hobbit) didn’t end up as victims in an accidental shooting is because they have more fucking SENSE than the gun owner, and reported it to their teachers without picking it up.

        If everybody treated weapons like you did, I would be much less wrought about the whole thing. But then, you’re not as paranoid as the fucking guntards are. So more competence and less paranoia is what I would like to see from gun owners. But, apparently, that is too much to ask of them.

      • To be fair, that’s only because the are too arrogant and too lazy to expend the effort to learn basic weapons retention drills.

        Also, gun owners keep them in obvious, stupid, insecure places. Drawers. Under the bed. In a closet. A lot of those removed weapons aren’t just having a gun taken away, but having them so fucking easy to find.

        A GOS writer talked about looking for his dads handgun when he was 8; found it in two or three tries, about 25 minutes of looking. It was under the socks and next to the porn, where any reasonable human male keeps his hadrosaur pelvis.

  8. paleo, HERE is a lovely story about how diligently gun nuts work on keeping us all safe.

    Really, my answer to those folks for some time now has been “if you idiots are protecting the rest of us, you are doing a pretty shitty job”

  9. mikey says:

    ALWAYS keep this video linkage handy for when people want to talk about how good guys with guns are the only solution to bad guys with guns.

    As a quick review, this was originally breathlessly reported as a mass shooting in Manhattan, where the madman killed one person and wounded ten more before being killed by heroic police officers. But it quickly became clear that this was not a mass shooting, it was a garden variety gun murder. When the well armed, supposedly well trained police officers confronted him, they fired SIXTEEN rounds at eyeball ranges, killing the killer, sure, but remember those ten wounded bystanders? ALL hit by police rounds. And these guys are supposedly trained and qualified (actually, a load of crap – I can outshoot 99% of all armed professionals without breaking a sweat). But it’s a classic example of what you get when you start slugging it out with guns in real life…

  10. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© says:


    How ’bout them Packers and 49ers and Redskins!!

    / Minister Of Optimism

  11. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© says:


    I forget how much I like this song, sometimes.


  12. Hey, here’s an idea. If you’re so concerned about rape, how about we do something to prevent it? Instead of amassing more guns.

    • IKR, right? It’s almost like they have no real use for actual women, other than to prop up their gun fetish. Reminds me of the days at ManBoobz.

      It does make me wonder, though, if those “rapes prevented’ numbers are depreciated by the number of rapes committed through aid of a gun….or heck, knowing how they fucked with the data to come up with what is on the graphic, I would not be surprised to learn they added ’em all together, rounded up to the nearest 100,000, and added a 15% surcharge.

  13. mikey says:

    That rotten Obama! He’s even sneakier than we thought!

    Here, he had a perfect chance to implement his dream and cut Social Security and Medicare AND HE DIDN’T DO IT!

    You just KNOW he’s just laying in the tall weeds, waiting to cut those social insurance programs when we least expect it. Probably just before he takes our guns and dronestrikes our houses.

    There’s just no limit to that bastard’s evil and depravity…

  14. mikey says:

    No – I can’t store it. The bastards have the swimming pool full of WATER, if you can believe it.

    But I keep my Sailor Jerry’s inventory pretty much the way I live these days – three or four days at a time…

  15. Nick says:

    Lies, damnable lies and statistics. The sad thing is, even when you know that the numbers have been manipulated, even when you can PROVE the numbers have been manipulated, it still does not trump a Conspiracy Theory or Rationalization for a Closely Treasured Belief.

    • Statistics are useful tools, but so many people cannot understand them. For example, listen to any pundit try to analyze the polls prior to the last election…

      But depressing as it is, you can’t let this shit go. It has to be opposed when it crops up, or it becomes common wisdom. It’s tiring, and the guys who make up bullshit have an advantage because they can generate shit faster than you can clean it off….

  16. mikey says:

    It is, at its core, the simple practicality behind marketing campaigns. You don’t tell people the truth, you tell them what you want them to believe. And it is very helpful if these are also things THEY want to believe.

    Tax cuts increase revenues. Stimulus spending can’t contribute to economic growth. Obamacare increases the deficit. The deficit is the greatest threat to the American economy. “Printing money” will cause hyperinflation. America is broke. Sony makes good consumer electronic devices. Old Spice smells good. Domestic oil production will reduce the cost of gasoline.

    And you just keep telling people over and over and over, no matter how many times it is debunked or proven false, you just keep saying knowing that eventually it’ll become received wisdom among the rubes and then you’ll never kill it…

  17. blue girl says:

    lol @ Sony makes good consumer electronic devices. Old Spice smells good.

  18. blue girl says:

    “A lie will go round the world while truth is pulling its boots on.”

  19. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© says:

    Can you prove that the Packers will win this weekend?

    • mikey says:

      Out here the football pundits are having an argument about who the Niners would WANT to play next week. A surprising number of them seem to think the best option of the three for the Niners would be Green Bay. That sounds wrong to me – I think I’d pick the Football team from DC with the racist name, but supposedly they’re the experts…

  20. I see many people picking the Seahawks (favored by 3 on the road).

    Well, sure, then that’s a lock. After all, Green Bay was favored against the Vikings last week…..

    FWIW, last time I saw a game at Lambeau, was a first round playoff game against the 49ers. It did not go well for San Francisco. Of course, back then they didn’t have a marquee quarterback like kknickknockkkickkrockpapperdick or whatever….

  21. Fridge note to Jennifer: Grizzled would be proud of me. I have a couple of small, intricate and specific gluing jobs; so I went out to get JUST THE RIGHT adhesive.

    And came out with four different kinds. SUCCESS!

Go ahead, tell me how I fucked up this time.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s