Under Pressure

Posted: May 30, 2014 in Fuck You Friday, Humanity is a virus, Turdwaffle and problems

It’s been a while since a decent Fuck You Friday, but there has been some recent interesting Wisconsonian news and I would like to procrastinate these plan revisions til tomorrow.  So let’s load up a Sailor Jerry’s cocktail and get foul-mouthed, shall we?

First of all, and still, fuck off Turdwaffle and your phalanx of illegally-publicly financed lawyers with your blatantly illegal and corrupt attempts to cripple the John Doe II investigation.  A partisan elected judge (and Goddam Charlie Pierce often says an elected judiciary is one of the worst ideas in the Union, and seeing the results of this anomaly in an otherwise squeaky-clean history of Wisconsin, I find it difficult to argue)  tried to peremptorily stop the whole process, AND DEMANDED THAT THE PROSECUTORS DESTROY ALL THEIR RECORDS!!!   WTF, Randa, you syphilitc Koch-sucking shit bag and limping disastrous herpes-sore; You suck so badly that your ruling was almost immediately dismissed!  If you didn’t have eternal job security, that would make a poor resume addition, you Monumentlly corrupt Peter Principle counter-example.

Oh, and wait, this fucking shit-stain on the once-proud and once-clean Wisconsin political heritage has taken advantage of MULTIPLE Koch-funded holidays.  Also, look at that fucking fake-tan creeps shitty mug.  He looks like a child-raping priest that has been moved more than once; and yes, he is fucking democracy like Catholic priests have been fucking children.

There is a rumor that Turdwaffle is looking to cut a deal, throwing the Club For Growth and the other Koch-funded groups that illegally coordinated with the Big Turd on his election and recall campaigns under the proverbial bus.  So much so that the Wall Street Journal devoted a significant part of their “valuable” editorial page, the home to insane rightwing  fantasies and conspiracies in the most staid of papers, to a warning shot across his Big, Turd-stained face.  The WSJ lied and distorted the impact of Randa’s trumped up judgements, and ignored the reversals and the fact that the John Doe continues.

And the ropes are seemingly tightening on the Wall-eyed Governor’s barely legal career, so much that he and his (again, publicly finance, most likely illegally) team of High Price Mouthpieces to try to cut a deal wit the prosecutors, even as they are constrained by Asshole Pederast Randa’s rulings. If I am able to shout loud enough for one of the prosecutors to hear PLEASE MAKE PART OF THAT DEAL, THAT HE NOT PURSUE ELECTED OFFICE EVER AGAIN.  Or, that I am allowed to kick him in the gonads fourteen or fifteen times; I have  a pretty good front kick.




Walker is a dupe and a shill and a fifth-rate intellect who has failed at everything he’s done since achieving Eagle Scout, until he figured out the Wingnut Wurlitzer gravy train, and used  it to leverage the suburban racist resentment toward Milwaukee into the County executive gig. He immediately used that position to illegally organize for his eventual Governor run, and has since used the Right Wing Fucknozzle Money Spigot to allow him to manipulate and coerce his way toward making Wisconsin an Alec-designed wasteland of corporate despoilage. From the Bad River mine abrogation of Native American treaties, to the destruction of the light rail expansion of economies (including busting the contract with Talgo, which will cost the state millions) to screwing over thousands of poverty-stricken Wisconsinites by refusing the Medicaid expansion of the ACA… on and on.  He’s a reprehensible political weasel who will dance to his master’s tune at every level.  And his Masters are the Kochs and ALEC and the Tea Party and he has no personal integrity or convictions of his own.  Maybe he did when he was a Boy Scout, but when he washed out of Marquette that apparently dissolved.


I think the best and most appropriate way to end this Turdwaffle diatribe is by posting a picture of an apparently hungover polar bear:


  1. Scott says:

    This was a thing of majesty.

  2. fish says:

    I don’t know how you got a picture of me from last Sunday morning.

  3. So, if I’m parsing that correctly, that’s 600+ words saying that

    1.) Your governor is a piece of shit
    2.) A Judge who is also a piece of shit is trying to use his position to end an investigation
    3.) Real people and real judges aren’t going to stand for that and the investigation continues
    4.) Your governor (who is apparently a piece of shit) has done a whole bunch of shitty shit
    5.) You believe he will eventually plead or be found guilty of something
    6.) The polar bear is not eating food, it’s throwing up its guts

    Thank you. A concise and economical fuck you friday with wildlife is a good thing…

  4. C’mon man, don’t hold back! How do you really feel about Walker?

  5. Big Bad Bald Bastard says:

    How soon before you can shitcan the turdwaffle?

  6. mikey says:

    I have little to complain about. My governor is Jerry Brown (again). Nancy Pelosi is one of my Senators. My rep is Jackie Speier, probably the BEST of the whole bunch of ’em. The Senate is 25-12 Dem and the Assembly is 55-25. Of course, we’ve got Diane Feinstein, but even she, despite her military and intelligence proclivities, is reliably liberal on economic and social matters…

  7. M. Bouffant says:

    W/ mikey, ‘though I pretty much despise all city/county officials. Judge Randa was beyond belief, however. Are there no ropes in the north?

    “thoughtful cursing”. That ought to go into a header or something.

    I came up w/ “A kind of pseudo-intellectual Tourette’s Syndrome” for a self-descriptive header. One of these days I’ll use it, too.

Go ahead, tell me how I fucked up this time.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.