Melt the Guns

Posted: June 4, 2014 in Body Count, Fuck You Friday, Humanity is a virus, Shovels


Dear NRA:

Yes, I am fully aware that your constituency is gun manufacturers, who are desperately trying to ramp up fear and paranoia in America because increasing gun sales are being made to an ever decreasing pool of ammosexuals.  And we know THOSE loons have a tendency to shoot themselves pretty frequently:

f only they would limit themselves to shooting themselves, rather than bystanders or allowing kids to find their penis replacements. And those kids frequently decide to use Second Amendment remedies against themselves, their siblings, or even their parents.  Even if they are far too young to understand the Second Amendment, or even read it.

HOWEVER.  You used the loosely bolted together paranoids and bigots and just general whackaloons who should never be allowed within shouting distance of anything more damaging than safety scissors to cement your status as the lobbying group with one of the highest kill-counts (although the extraction industry, taken as a whole, is going to be doing BIG numbers when the coasts start drowning)…


…waitaminnit.  that reminds me of a favorite song from an excellent band that I got to spend time with at Summerfest:

…OK, so yeah.  NRA, you have made these doofuses into your public face:


Good luck with that.  Assholes.

EDIT:  The NRA has walked back their walking back of support for these choads.  So, it’s good to know they read teh Empire!

  1. mikey says:

    My H&K G3 is hidden very deeply away, except to come out three or four times a year for sighting in and maintenance. If I am ever seen carrying it in public, it would indicate something awful has happened. It is a 7.62mm battle rifle. It is a nice piece to own, and there actually IS a sense of comfort knowing one has access to overwhelming firepower, but why you’d need to carry a rifle plodding the streets of Podunk USA is beyond me. Hell, a service pistol starts to weigh heavy if you carry it all day, the idea of carrying an 8 pound rifle around is just stoopid on so many levels…

  2. mikey says:

    Voting’s fun. On Tuesday my election staff at the rec center was two pretty senile old women and a cute 12 year old in braces. I entertained ’em, then I voted for Jackie Speier and sighed a contented little sigh. Couldn’t bring myself to vote for OrlyTaitz for attorney general because yikes, but I couldn’t resist voting for Leland Yee for Secretary of State. Anybody who buys anti-tank missiles from the Moro has got to have righteous stones…

  3. OK, I guess now we go ahead and berate the grieving family member of shooting victims here in America. Calling them stupid for not arming everyone.

    What the fuck is wrong with these paranoid motherfuckeers? The idea that having more people walking around strapped and on a hair trigger is ludicrous to any sane person; the only result would be widespread slaughter of innocent people. It is a big step to ward mikey’s “something awful”.

    “Bad guys with guns” is a sick fantasy for twisted sociopaths who have dreams of killing other people. That radio host should not be allowed to spread this insanity on the public airwaves.

  4. Whale Chowder says:

    This must be our lucky week. We had a nice little family-style shooting here in Seattle yesterday, then today in Atlanta a guy strapped and carrying homemade explosives tried to drive into the courthouse to raise hell.

    Whee, good times, good times.

  5. And today we get a shooting at a high school near Portland. ‘Merka, fuck yeah!

    What a glorious paradise we live in. If we continue like this, Somalia is gonna start being jealous of our freedumbs.

Go ahead, tell me how I fucked up this time.

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