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Yeah, so we have Hell Fuck Eternal Cold Vortex bearing down on us.  I may be unclear on the terminology.  That’s what it feels like when you walk outside – and believe me, what Lucifer the Orange thinks when she goes out to try and squeeze out some frozen pee or some poopsicles is probably unprintable, even on this crappy blog.

And this is on top of the 12 inches of snow we got Sunday-Monday.  WHICH IS on top of the cumulative 10-12 inches that we had from the last couple of snowfucks.

So yeah:

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We stayed home on Monday, both of us “inter tube-communicated” or whatever the kids call it, and traded episodes of shoveling. in between thawing our fingers under the dog.  But even then, we resorted to hiring the roving bands of shovelers that arise during this weather to do the heavy lifting, especially where the snowplows had created White Walls at the end of the drive way (but we had to re-do it anyways, because the plows are FUCKING RELENTLESS).

Even at the end of the day on Monday, you could feel the new COLDFUCK starting to move in.  it got here today, but mostly the city had plowed and shoveled out; although I have sympathy for the people living on smaller streets who struggle with parking rules and being plowed in.

Today got all the way up to 2 fucking degrees F.  It will be 16 below tonight.  Tomorrow will get down to 20 below.  I know the TV idiots like to talk about the windchill, but fuck that.  These are the temperatures at which windchill is near-meaningless; either way, it is dangerous.  Fortunately, of course, there is a neighborhood store less than a block away that sells liquor.

I had been kind of keeping my plans open, but at this point, I doubt I will go into my office this week.  Maybe on Sunday to see how much our delivery guys delivered.

Because yeah.  USPS are suspending deliveries for most of the week.  All the schools are closed, including UW-M.  Most City and State offices have told people not to come in.  Most offices are closed, and if I had employees right now, I would tell them to stay the fuck in bed with their spouses and pets.

But, you know, we have lived through this kind of shit before.  That’s why we have brandy.  In fact, most of us save these up to tell our kids and grandkids about the Blizzard of 78 or whatever.  we may be stupid to live here, but we ain’t weak.

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[ANGRY FONT]

But here comes Cheeto Mussolini, the Bone Spur Hero, to misspelling use our Weather Emergency to flog his infantile understanding of weather.  Saying, of course, in the most ridiculously smarmy insulting way that Global Climate Change must be proven wrong by cold weather.  Of course, his tiny thumbs fucked it up and we now must all refer to it as “Global Waming”  all other references will be memory holed immediately.

Deadpool is VERY aggravated at the maligning of Wham!

AS IF he ever has had to endure harsh weather.  As if he has ever shoveled snow.  As if he has ever had the snot freeze in his nose.  As if he even gives a shit other than to ‘own the libs’ and to provide fan service to his moron base.

Of course, no end of mostly intelligent people responded on Twitler and FaceHeil to say why he is wrong, and some went at length to talk about the actual reasons why climate change causes these extreme weather events.  I look at the people who try this with a kind of sad disdain.  I mean, I know what they are trying to do, and I recognize that the spreading of knowledge like this is a good thing, but I really hope they don’t actually expect to reach the rational levels of the Orang’Hai.  Let along the Prime Oran-Orc.  I mean, it’s not as if they read, or as in A Fish Called Wanda “Yes, they do (read) they just don’t understand it”.  Or refuse to understand it, and turn back to their comforting lies from Fox, Breitbart, and Limbaugh.

As the estimable driftglass has said, these are the reprogrammable meatballs that have been bred for the last 40 fucking years to act like flying monkeys attacking whatever targets are identified by the God-fearing Rightwing Leaders and Kings and Rulers and Daddies.

But speaking as a zombie who has to live in this current manifestation of the ravages of global climate change (and shout out especially to the West Coast folk who got burnt up -ostensibly because you don’t fucking rake) this kind of condescending and politically oriented shitlord, can I just say:

 

A while back, I had a bigger office with a few employees, and there was one guy besides me who like Tom Waits.

 

It’s not Friday, but Fuck You, Donny.  When you are put into the cold, cold ground, I will post the perfectly appropriate Elvis Costello song, and yes, I will tramp that fucking dirt down.

OK, out of curiosity, I have watched the competing FYRE Festival documentaries. I was peripherally aware about the failure of this, but holy fucking shit, the complete cluelessness of a rich white guy who is able to convince people to send him money, it was like a new millennia version of a religious huckster. Oh wait, it was a more like a social media version of modern religious huckster.  Oh wait, it was like Trump decided to do a hipster music festival.
 
But seriously, what the hell did people think? Here in Milwaukee, we are home to the largest music festival in the world, over eleven days, serving more or less 100,000 people every day. When the festival ends, every year, they take a couple of weeks off and then start planning the next festival (in reality, I am pretty sure they start planning the next one during the current festival.  And since they are constantly rebuilding and improving the actual physical portions of the site every year, I figure they start planning well in advance of a year). And that is at a location that not only has dedicated facilities (including toilets!) but also the built in ability of an urban area to absorb the needed hotel rooms, traffic, parking and transit.
 
And not to mention that the festival grounds support various ethnic festivals, pretty much every weekend for the entire summer. And they all come together well, mainly because they are planned for most of a year in advance, and are based on expectation of infrastructure and support in place.
 
What I find absolutely inconceivable is that so many of the people involved, many of whom may have been admittedly very young and many of whom had no experience in planning or construction; at the same time there were others who were older and more experienced and had experience in how much effort it takes to do this kind of thing.
The Hulu version presents him as a con artist.  As a professional, I will not say I have not been burned by con artists.  But I will say that I could see early on that their plans did not make sense; I recognize that the normal thinking is that architects do no know anything about spending money, but the reality is that we have to run businesses like anyone else, and within a few years of working on many different ways of completing projects, it becomes apparent that it takes money.  It takes investment.  It takes time and it takes FUCKING EFFORT.
I often say that I have seen projects die for all kinds of reasons.  And a not uncommon one, is that the primary mover on the development team is either a scammer or he is completely clueless.
It was a minor example, but recently I was contacted by a building owner (through a reference). I actually was familiar with the building through a public improvement effort guided by the School of Architecture and Urban Planning, and the building is a small mess.  The owner said the inspectors told them they needed an architect, and I explained, patiently, that what they were trying to do required the entire building to be reviewed for current codes (which include Existing Building Codes, which can be complex).  When I sent him an estimate, he started to try to cut me down, piecemeal it, and otherwise dismiss the value of my fees.  After a couple of responses, I refused to be drawn; it was obvious he was going to dispute my bills at every step and that he wanted me to try to help him shortcut around building codes.  I have seen it before.  I cut him the fuck off.
What I wonder is why nobody else did that to this shithead?  I mean, he seems like a douchebro at best, how was it that no one saw that?
I do not pretend to some ability to magically find the real impulses behind various folks I deal with.  But I will say that after one bad example, I need see no further reason to work with them, and I have extended that to say to new clients “my insurer requires that I receive (and without saying, having the check clear) a retainer that is based on the scope, extent, and urgency of the services”  Because, you know it, your emergency based on your ignorance or idiocy does not allow me to ignore my current clients (or this current video game) unless you pay accordingly.
So how did all these people just give this guy some inconceivable amount of money, and the people working on it continue to work, when there is no amount of planning being done?  IN fact, the one guy who said the original island selected had NPO CHANCE of supporting the proposed number of attendees, and he said the only way they could support that number needed mooring a boat off shore.  Asshole said, ‘we are not doing the boat, and your services are no longer needed”.
Seriously, at that point, every professional on the project should have walked.
And the original island used to be owned by a drug lord, which was abandoned when he got arrested.  The contract for the island stipulated that the ownership of the island would not be mentioned, but the first marketing efforts prominently displayed his name.  Which voided the contract, leaving them scrambling to find another island.  With like 6 months to go.  I mean, fuck?
But I do not want to spoil too much, if you are interested.  Check them out, one on Hulu and one on Netflix.  You will be amazed at the blindness allowed by models and drugs.  Or maybe not.
OK, maybe I am just a fucking old guy, but what makes me wonder is the ability for people to ignore all the fucking warning signs.  This guy made his mark by creating a credit card that added fees to your existing credit card, for the privilege of having a credit card made out of metal.  The only surprise is this was not Trump-branded, except the Trump family doesn’t have that level of inventiveness.
Fuck.  I tried like hell to just be good at what I do.  When I started my first firm/partnership, with a woman and a Latino, we discussed whether we wanted to approach it as some kind of minority firm, but the rules said it had to be EITHER a woman, or a racial minority; and when we appealed, they just looked confused.  What did we think, forming a firm with one of each?  And none of us wanted to commit to 51% to one or the other, so the whole thing turned shitty and I bailed.  I named the damn firm, too.
So yeah, good at what I do.  I think I am.  Have won some awards.  More importantly, I have done projects that have had positive changes to local neighborhoods, and real families.
But I never cheat, I never scam, I never inflate my fees, I never blow smoke up anyone’s ass.  When I walk into a project, I always start a discussion about the difficulties and the hurdles we will see. When something goes wrong, i let the client know as soon as I can, so we can start working toward solutions.  In the case of serious changes to my fees, I do not bill until the situation is resolved.

OK, now I know why I am not rich.

The title is from a new bunch of young punks called the Interrupters, who have been championed by Green Day and Rancid.  As you may know, I am a huge huge HUGE fan of ska music from the old days of Twin Tone and such like, so I am partial.  So here is a song they did featuring Tim from Rancid.

But after that, the title is the title of their new album.  And given the new blood and new women in Congress, the feeling that we can bring the fight to the motherfuckers (RESPECT TO TLAIB) seems to be energizing, you know?

Oh, hell, here’s an extra one, and this is just for mikey:

Yeah.  Look at the new women in Congress.  They are kerosene, they are.  Back the fuck up, old white guys, it’s time to take a motherfucking torch to the old ways.

Don’t look at me.  Doctor Thompson and Kurt Vonnegut both told me that ‘motherfucker’ is a GOOD word.  As did Saint George Carlin and Lenny Bruce.

These guys will be playing the lovely Turner Hall in April, and I am guessing I will be there, skanking to the extent my aged bones and joints will allow.

BUT THAT”S NOT WHAT I CAME HERE TO TALK ABOUT (h/t to Uncle Arlo).

I came here to talk about the draft.  well no, I didn’t (And have I mentioned I am the chair of my local draft board?  I figured might as well as have an unrepentant liberal on there if the motherfucking draft ever gets reinstated, you know).  But no, I am not here to talk about that either.

I’m here to talk about Wisconsin politics NOW JUST SIT THE FUCK DOWN AND LISTEN.

Because after WAY more time enduring the reign of Turd-Koch-Waffle, and all the damage he has done (not to mention the stupid amount of damage he did to the county of Milwaukee while he was the STUPIDEST County Executive we ever had to endure (FUCK YOU VERY MUCH, WHITE SUBURBAN DISTRICTS), on Monday we get to kick him the fuck to the motherfucking curb.  (I am not happy about his plans after that, as I said recently).

Last year, I attended a fundraiser for our great and good Senator, Tammy Baldwin (an openly gay politician that even my old parents supported when she was a Madison politician, for which I love and respect them) at a local brew pub, with now (not then) Presidential candidate Elizabeth Warren, but still a superstar.  And while waiting in the mob, I recognized Tony Evers, who had just announced his run for Gov.  I shook his hand and said I wished him the best luck to which he smiled (he’s got a great smile) and said “We don’t need luck.  We’re going to win.”

They did.

On Monday, Evers will be inaugurated, as will his tremendously skilled and experienced administrative staff, who have to be terrifying the Republican lege, who are not used to opposition, let alone skilled opposition.  They are already running scared, in that they hurriedly passed unconstitutional and ridiculous laws saying “You’re not the boss of us“.

To which Evers is saying “fuck off and sue me if you don’t like it“.

That’s not too bad.  That’s the kind of thing we need more from more Democrats.  OH WAIT, the Democrats in the House are already doing that.

Evers has done a helluva job selecting his administration.  Which will be necessary, not because the Republicans are cunning or smart, but just because they have changed the districts to make them able to outweigh actual votes.  So it will take, as many do, a lot of work and never stopping, but look.  People like Vos and Fitzgerald are ridiculously stupid people, and if they can’t rely on cheating, they are barely competent.

One of my Imaginary Digital Friends is well involved with the Democratic Party, and he is attending the parties tomorrow night.  I hope he has a great time, and I am completely sure that everybody there will be ready to Fight the Good Fight on Tuesday.

Stay tuned for how we take Wisconsin back from the KOCHs.

People who’ve read this blog, may remember that I am not especially fond of ex-Governor Scott Walker, who I prefer to call Turdwaffle.  In fact, he often featured in my long-running feature, Fuck You Friday (to which we happily welcome guest-effer Congressperson Rashida Tlaib).

We often talked about his scant acquaintanceship with the truth, as well as his long running efforts to fuck over Milwaukee.

Which makes this news all the more inexplicable and enraging.

People on The Milwaukee reddit predict much food being thrown at him, and plentiful servings of Snotchos being served to him (don’t accept an offer to dine out with him).

The current County Executive, Chris Abele, has been living in a luxury condo on the same block as my office (and with a view of the Bucks Arena, which Turd-boy supported) and Abele has just bought a massive mansion on the North Shore (Narrator: Abele is independently wealthy).  Which makes me wonder if I will be seeing Turdwaffle around my neighborhood.  I cannot decide whether this makes me nauseous, blind with rage, or excited to be able to yell and spit at him in person.

It should also be pointed out that he is already starting the next fucking run at elected office.  I will point out that he fucking said, he would only run for two terms (Narrator: he lied) and that he would step down if he didn’t succeed in his promise of 250,000 new jobs in his first term (Narrator: he lied).

Why wouldn’t he take his fucking empty ball sack and enlarging Shiny Bald Spot out to Waukesha (now and forever known as That Fucking Walkersha), where they love him for the way he fucks up the minorities and supposedly makes the Libruls cry (Narrator:  He doesn’t make Liberals cry). It has already been said that the only place in Wisconsin that might provide less Turd-welcome than Milwaukee would be Madison.

I guess it makes little surprise, considering that he is angling for his next Koch-funded and Koch-directed elected position (Narrator:  he’s never held a real job), that he intends to move to the economic engine of the State, where much of the corporate power and the truly wealthy fuckers live.

I am not yet inclined to re-initialize the FYF (it was very draining to channel that much rage every week).  But it seems likely that with new Democrats running the State and House of Representatives, I would like to at least re-animate this crappy old blog.  You know, like a zombie or something.

Meanwhile, this is my farewell (and Welcome to Milwaukee) song for Turdwaffle:

Post title from the latest album by local bluegrass sweethearts the Whiskeybelles.  You could do far, far worse than checking out their music, and why wouldn’t you?

Have I mentioned here my brother and his estrangement with his daughter?  Well, let’s pretend that I haven’t or that neither of us remember it.  Short story;  she had a rough time, developed an Oxy monkey, and did some things that were not good, including stealing from my brother.  He had a new wife, who demanded that he sever ties, and his daughter did the jail cold turkey cleanup program.

Since then, she has soldiered on, tried to no avail to reconnect with her father, and started a new life in a community several miles away.  She moved in with a good guy, Andrew, and they seem to have gotten their shit together.

I know her mother from high school, and have been in contact with both of them through the evil scheme that is Facebook.  And after much drama more or less, my niece and her boyfriend got engaged.  I called my brother and was not going to spill the beans, but I told him, he had to call his daughter.

He didn’t.

So last November, they got married in Las Vegas.  It was a wrong time and wrong budget to travel and I sent my regrets; but her mother contacted me and asked if I could reconsider, because her father was still ghosting her and she needed someone to walk her down the aisle.  It was hard, but I just couldn’t make it for budgetary and timing issues.  But it looked like a lovely time was had by all, and I will regret not being there.

I called my brother prior, and after a bit of Sailor Jerry Bravery, read him the riot act and told him there would come a time that he would regret being so severe about cutting her so thoroughly out of his life.  He responded and said “you don’t know the whole story”. to which I replied that I didn’t, but still she was your only fucking daughter and don’t be a dick.

I have a picture sitting on our dining room built in of him and her when she was about three, when they came down to visit and he is holding her.  We still have a couple of photos of her as a child and later as well.  I mean, she’s goddam family, you know?

My brother’s house, like ours, has always had a fair amount of small animals sharing space, and for his place, they once had one than my niece particularly loved, a spaniel named Taylor.  So one year, when I had little cash for presents (and as brothers we said we wouldn’t spend any real money on gifts, we were all kind of less than rich), so I did one of my fuzz bucket drawings of Taylor as a shared gift for my brother and his daughter.  If you have been around here much (all TWO of you!) you may have seen some of my fuzz bucket drawings – we hav a gallery of them in our entry hall, and when some friend visited we realized no one realizes that I am the one that draws them.  In fact, fair half of the artwork in our house is mine, and most of the rest is Jon Langford or Salvador Dali.  Some is Escher.

So, on a recent visit, I was kind of disgusted to see that my drawing was still on display in their living room, when I kind of intended it to be for his daughter, because Taylor was much her dog.  Upon reflection, I should have asked for it back.  It was one of my better.  Taylor was an artistic dog.

So, when my niece and her guy got married, and I couldn’t make the trip to do a duty,  I decided I would fix one damn thing my fucking brother wouldn’t:  I would gift my niece with an illustration of her current puppzors, Quigley (who is a Good Dog)

Of course, since I am a zombie I forked up the deadline, and just finished the portrait recently.  Took advantage of the regrettable closing of the local art store to get new papers and charcoal and pastels, and did a new one (good lord, fresh pastels and good paper makes such a huge difference!  you artists know).  Fortunately, my niece sent me an awesome picture of the three of them that I could use as a basis.  And with a few extra days off for whatever fucking holiday we are currently in the midst of, I finished it tonight.  I like it.  The dog properly take priority over the humans.

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Now to get it framed, and there is an awesome local frame shop who makes everything look fantastic.  And then to ship it off with a very apologetic note and card about the timing, hoping they love it enough to cut me some fucking slack.

And I am more than pissed toward my brother about his attitude.  He will come to regret it, I have no doubt.  And that is really very sad, and he doesn’t even realize it.

 

ETA:  Young Zombie got some farm kittehs when he got his first post-college apartment, and as such I also did portraits of those two little fuzzbuckets.  Now being framed:

Shudder released a new series of Joe Bob Briggs “The Last Drive In” movies, for the Turkey Armageddon Holiday, called Dinners of Death.  Did i watch?  Did I bogroll.

During the final movie, he went on an extended diatribe about seeing movies in a group setting (which is perfectly applicable to any group activity) in which he talks about how much more fulfilling it is to take part in a shared experience, even on a streaming service, where he insists that they limit the ability to download for a certain amount of time.  But to Joe Bob, it is the importance of the shared experience.  Which, if you have EVER spent any time reading this pathetic blog, you know I feel strongly about music performances.

And recently, we had just that kind of shared movie/comedy/improv experience when the new and old stars of MST3K brought a 30th anniversary live riffing performance to the beautiful Riverside Theater (a few days after Zombie Friend Scott saw it in LA).  E basically sat an watched a crappy movie. but it was relieved by snarky comments throughout and a few breaks where the people on stage did some stage humor.  A Canadian movie called the Brain, which features the evil scientist from Re-Animator, as an…wait for it…Evil Scientist.

As I said at the time, the experience of sharing it with a couple thousand like minded geeks was tremendous.  We laughed hard, so hard.  There was a guy right in front of us with an actual screen used Crow.  They made Packer jokes.  Joel revealed that he had Cheesehead heritage.  And my!  Didn’t we have a lovely time!

Spoiler alerts.  SODIUM!

Also, MY GOD!  IT’S FULL OF STAIRS!  Ok, it is two particular stairs.

Also, BANG!  Bang!  Bang!

The Mst3K folks just released THE GAUNTLET. a 6-episode binge-oriented series that I have resisted doing a full run through.  Joe Bob’s Dinners With Death has filled in the gap in a wonderful way.

I think this show was particularly a wonderful presentation, with one very mild political joke from the stage, but we are fucking relieved to have punched Scott Walker’s stupid bald spot on top of his stupid, stupid brain, into some Fox News/ Koch sinecures that pay for Tonette’s diet pills.  The audience was awesome, hilarious, and relieved.

Anyway, I am just killing time until the Mike McCarthy again screws up his play calling making Aaron Rodgers that much closer to achieving the “Best Quarterback Ever that was destroyed by his head coach” award.  But for what it’s worth, they have activated Whitewater Superstar Jake Kumerow…..

 

 

Finest Worksong

Posted: November 9, 2018 in Fridge Note, Humanity is a virus, Shovels


I have been talking recently with a potential client, who owns a small, scattershot industrial building that is filled with a weird mix of tenants doing a weird mix of businesses, with a nearly incomprehensible of access and exiting that is pretty much not illuminated.

It’s not the first time I have been through the building.

NWS site

But the Owner, much as I like him personally, apparently figures I will be willing to work on the basis of a  couple of hundred bucks.  I AM NOT.

After going back and forth a bit, he keeps asking for me to do something shortsighted and cheap.  Here is my answer:

Andy-

A change of use resets the code to the requirements of the new use.  That is why they asked you for a Change of Use Analysis.  The use as furniture storage and showroom is treated differently in the code, and that’s why there is a need to review the new use in relation to the rest of the building.  Also, not having seen the history of the building, it is entirely possible that the prior use was not properly approved.  Which, of course is not your fault in any way.
You may be able to use that area as storage, although storage of furniture may also be problematic, and use as a showroom will be an entirely different aspect. Without an analysis on my part, I am unable to proffer a professional opinion on that.
I am unsure what you would need me to do, because your stated plans for the space are changing.  The building itself has gone through decades of incremental changes, that seem to have never been adequately assessed for code compliance. Conversion of a portion of the building to residential would STILL require analysis of the entire building for exiting and accessibility.
On a professional level, and with respect to my fiduciary duty to you as a client and the protection of public health and safety, not to mention in order to maintain my professional license and my liability insurance, I have an obligation to not only work on your behalf and in your best interest but to ensure that your building remains safe and occupiable and meets the standards of Milwaukee and State building codes.  In my prior experience, when clients insist on abbreviated scope of services, invariably we find that we have to do more work, most often finding ourselves performing the original scope of services, if not more, caused by trying to short cut things on the front end. The scope of services I have proposed is based on the years of experience I have in doing these kinds of things.  
After years of doing these kinds of projects, I have found that trying to shortcut, especially on the front end design and code elements invariably end up costing the Owner more money, resulting in blaming and bad blood.  
That is why I send out my proposals with an itemized estimate, so a potential client can see how my time would be broken down to various tasks.  When I look at them, I do not see any particular task that is not reasonably apportioned.
It seems to me that we may not be a good fit between client and professional.  I am not willing to provide you with a piecemeal approach to your building plans; invariably, I have found it results in more work that expands outside of the original scope of work.  
I really enjoyed meeting you and I like you on a personal basis during the brief time we met.  I also like your building a lot.  But on a professional level, I think we may not be the best fit.
Best regards and my sincere regrets.
Not sent yet.  Someone tell me that is wrong and ill-advised.
Maybe I shouldn’t watch the Walking Dead while writing these things.